Santos enters the darkened office and wanders around, checking out the furnishings in the little bit of light that's coming through the windows. This scene goes on entirely too long, so it's obvious that something "comical" or "shocking" is going to happen. We discover what that something is when Santos sits down on a sofa and Donna lets out a blood-curdling shriek. Santos falls to the ground, apologizing and trying to get her to shut up, while Donna turns on a lamp. It seems that she fell asleep while working. Santos looks at Donna oddly, and then says, "You're Russell's chicken fighter." Still breathing hard, she introduces herself, and then makes it clear that she knows who Santos is. She starts to ask what he's doing in the Veep's office, and he tells her, "I'm hiding out. We're trying to outsmart the Speaker, have him think we've all left town before he calls the vote tomorrow." Donna asks if Russell knows about this, and Santos cuts her off: "This is not for the Santos campaign. It's for the President." Right. Pull the other one.
In the Office of O, Jed is dropping some ice into one of those screwtop ice bags as Aku talks about what a fool he made of himself. And then they have an economist's conversation about how Asian nations have been buying all of the bonds the U.S. government has to sell to support the deficit, and what the awful effects on the U.S. economy will be if those nations start selling off those bonds. Aku tells Jed that there's a rumor that Singapore is going to dump its dollars, and that such an action could start a run. Jed doesn't think it will ever happen. They blab some more. I'm skipping the detail here because it's incredibly boring. And also because they can't seem to write Aku with any consistency. In one sentence, he seems not to care about deficits, and in another he thinks they are the worst thing around. In the end, Jed at least seems to appreciate the friendly sentiment behind Aku's warning.
Kate and Will sit down with a goofy-looking guy wearing a bow tie. He's the Canadian Ambassador, and he has the oddest accent. It is not, as some have called it, a British accent, but he sounds like no Canadian I've ever met. It almost sounds to me like he's trying to channel FDR. Or maybe Thurston Howell. He tells them that he can report that everything is "quiet on the western front," even though the situation is not resolved. The Ambassador starts to discuss his telephone call with the Veep, and Kate is surprised to hear that he called Bingo Bob. Will clarifies that the Veep called the Ambassador. The Ambassador establishes that he can't speak in an official capacity, and when Kate wonders what the hell is going on, he apologizes for his lack of experience with "this kind of intrigue." The Ambassador tells Kate that he could try to convince the Premier of the province to "exert pressure on his citizens to relent and allow the Americans free passage across the border." Kate thinks that would be a swell thing for the Premier to do, but the Ambassador goes on to mention that such an action would create some expectations that the U.S. would offer something in return. Will suggests that the U.S. could perhaps drop an appeal of a NAFTA trade ruling, and Kate tells them that "the United States does not make trade decisions based on the actions of some amped-up cowboys." And then Will steps on my joke, saying, "Unless they've been elected to office." The Ambassador tells Kate that he understands that she can't negotiate with him directly, but that if she senses "the possibility of some openness to consider [his] proposal, [she] could signal the same by crossing [her] legs." Since Kate already has her legs crossed, he suggests that she might uncross and then recross her legs. I think someone is having fantasies about Basic Instinct. Kate uncrosses her legs and stands up: "Ambassador, listen carefully. An hour ago, I reviewed the United States's contingency plan to invade your country." When Will asks if there is really such a plan, she tells him that it was drawn up in "1789, amended in 1815. The calligraphy is beautiful." She tells the Ambassador that if he suggests any more deals, she's "going to ask DoD to reactivate it."