West Wing
Celebrity Poker Showdown

Episode Report Card
Deborah: C+ | Grade It Now!
Shoe Money Tonight!

Now that there are two people in the Nonwinners' Lounge, they've each got someone to talk shit with. As Richard begins fiddling with his various accessories (hats, sunglasses, etc.), Allison comments, "Richard is so going to lose -- he can't decide who he is." Martin just laughs. He's probably not going to talk shit about anybody -- he's too nice. Richard seems to have folded, and it's just John and Tim. The pot grows quickly; it's over twenty grand within a few moments. Richard, to the peanut gallery: "Any side bets? Because I need some money." John checks, Timothy bets his wad, and the pot is $31,100. Phil congratulates him on the nice play. John folds and Tim wins.

Timothy's playing for the Planned Parenthood Federation, which immediately moves him up several notches in my estimation. I guess if we can't get C.J. and Toby together, I could be okay if she hooked up with Danny. He says that he didn't start playing poker until later in life. He confesses to being mostly petrified at every turn and every card that's flopped.

Back at the table, Richard's still fussing with his assortment of headgear. He puts a black baseball cap on backwards and dons a pair of dark sunglasses. He sticks a clear pair over those and then puts another dark pair up on his forehead. Timothy chuckles. Pollak: "Richard is now selling glasses." Allison laughs hilariously. You can't watch her and not think of the word "vivacious." She's the woman that word was invented for. Pollak: "They were props; now they're for sale. You gotta tip your hat to the effort. He just wants two cards that make sense." Pollak thinks Richard should just forget about the next two cards he gets and bet three grand. Phil would like to see him make a move. Richard folds and takes off all his accessories, along with his jacket. The audience is enjoying his antics. John: "Richard, you're getting the house, though. You may be losing the game but you're getting the house." Timothy and John play back and forth for a moment, and Tim quickly wins the pot of $8,400. Phil comments that Timothy is the one player who clearly knows how to use his chips to his advantage. Allison, fortunately, asks the question that's on my lips: "How do you use your chips to your advantage?" Pollak: "You throw them at your opponent. Hit them in the eyes, preferably." Allison and Martin laugh. That's about the first funny thing the guy's said.

After another commercial, we've got the current chip count: Timothy has 29,900; John has 15,900; and Richard has 4,200. Richard's wearing his baseball cap in the classical manner now (frontward), and has a pair of sunglasses on over it. I think he believes that if he can just land on the right look, his luck will turn. Phil says that Richard's feeling pressure from the crowd, along with being "short-stacked," which I take it means that the guy doesn't have too many chips left. Suddenly, Richard's all in, with a Jack of diamonds and a nine of clubs. Timothy folds, as Allison comes out and brings Richard a cigar and starts massaging his shoulders and arms. Then she whispers something in his ear. While the C.J./Toby fanfic machine goes into hyperdrive, I wonder idly if she's telling him John's hand, which she can surely see. John has a nine of hearts and eight of spades. The flop's a ten, King, and Ace, all spades. Allison's taken off Richard's hat and is massaging and caressing his head. The turn is the six of hearts, and the river is ten of clubs. Richard wins the pot of $8,600. Allison bends down and hugs him tightly from behind. She seems genuinely very excited for him. When she starts to leave, he wants to know where she's going; I think he's afraid his lucky charm just walked off.

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West Wing




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