West Wing
Constituency Of One

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The 101st Senator

Swimtern's tagging along as Donna rushes around doing work: "So, Josh is against the launcher because he thinks it's all make-work jobs for Idaho?" Donna agrees. Swimtern: "But, he supports workfare, which...gives people make-work jobs?" Donna: "Find me a military contractor on food stamps and we'll talk." Donna stops into C.J.'s office to hand Carol a file, saying, "Josh's guidance on the DSCC." Carol hands it to C.J.

Donna and Carol hustle off, and Swimtern lingers at the door. I can't even tell you how much I hate preppy clothing. I especially hate the "white pants with the dark sport coat, blue shirt, and diagonally striped tie" look, all of which Skippy's wearing now. I loathe it all. I also continue to wonder about the Orville Redenbacher hairdo. Clearly, with Stockard Channing gone, the hair and clothing people are venting their frustrations on Jesse Bradford. He stares at C.J. for a moment, and then announces, "So, I'm giving Josh an expensive birthday present." Boy, this guy is a real graduate of How To Win Friends And Influence People, isn't he? People love it when you brag about how much money you have. C.J. quickly says, "You can't. You're his subordinate. That's a violation of ethics rules." Swimtern: "Then I'm giving it to you." C.J.: "You'd better believe you're my subordinate." Hee. ["Seriously. Now I'm picturing Jesse Bradford bending over in seamed stockings like Maggie Gyllenhaal on the Secretary poster." -- Wing Chun] C.J. adds, "And I don't think you even bought a present at all." Swimtern says, "There's a party...at the Australian Embassy later...." Oh. My. Lord. Did Swimtern just ask C.J. out? I may be sick. I mean, not that you can fault the guy's taste in this one matter, but what'd he eat for breakfast? Chocolate-covered Idiot Flakes? C.J.'s not sure, either: "Are you..." He quickly say no, but his expression is unconvincing. He says, "It's just, uh..." C.J.: "There aren't enough phone books in the District of Columbia for you to stand on." Ha! Burn. Swimtern: "How about suburban Maryland?" I know the people in the forums will never forgive me if I don't insert a shout here: "MARYLAND!" If you want to know what that's about, you'll just have to hang out in the forums and ask the right people. Back to the part where I'm losing my lunch: look, normally I'm all for older women and younger men. If I ran for office, it'd be part of my platform. (Keanu, if you're reading this, I'm willing to make a one-time exception for you -- though you're only about six months older than I am anyway.) That's not the problem I'm having here. C.J. is just so out of his league, and he's just not hot enough to justify it. I would have thought he was pushing his luck had he asked Donna out, let alone C.J. Anyway, C.J. just lets that hang there. Hold me. I'm frightened.

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West Wing

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