Donna smiles and glides over. She sits down, saying, "That's very nice of you. I probably shouldn't drink, though." C.J., still futzing around trying to open the bottle, says, "I wouldn't worry about it." Amy slurs, "Canadian, huh?" That should be "Canadian, eh?" Donna, sadly: "Yeah." Amy: "You feel funnier?" Donna: "No, but I am developing a massive inferiority complex." Hee. It's a tired joke, but God knows there's some truth to it. And hey, this inferiority complex will go great with the one you already have. Now it's a matched set. C.J. is finally triumphant: "Ah!" Abby: "Did it come out?" C.J.: "Next best thing: it's in the bottle." Abby: "We'll decant it!" My God, her surgical brain is a wonder to behold. I guess I can cut her some slack: she's half-woofled and depressed to boot. Amy slides her butt off the arm off the sofa down onto the seat cushion and says, "Now it's a party." Well, they should be good and smashed by the time we get back to them.
And indeed they're pretty lubricated. After the commercials, we return to the four women laughing heartily. They're crimping Amy's hair so it looks right for the video, and practicing pulling black silk scarves between their legs. Okay, I'm kidding. C.J., curled up in the corner of one sofa, says the wine is so good it's almost made her forget how much cork she's swallowed. "I don't understand, it was a good corkscrew...graphite..." Amy: "C.J.?" C.J.: "Stop talking about the corkscrew?" Amy: "Yeah." Amy, lying down next to Abby and fidgeting with some of the ninety-two yards of brown satin, like she's five years old, says, "Mrs. Bartlet, I wanted to ask you a question but I'm not sure how." And whatever happened to "Dr. Bartlet," anyway? What's all this "Mrs. Bartlet" stuff? Abby asks what it is. Amy: "Well, if the most they can give you is a year's suspension, is it that big a deal?" WTF? That's quite an enlightened question from Miss Apprehension 2002. Abby: "Yes. I'm a doctor! It's not like changing your major. You of all people should...I mean, women talk about their husbands overshadowing their careers; mine got eaten." C.J.: "Your husband got eaten?" Abby: "My career." C.J.: "Yeah, well, I'm on dangling modifier patrol." Abby: "What's your problem?"
C.J. asks, "Are you First Lady right now?" Abby: "What are you talking about?" C.J.: "Sometimes you like to talk, and I think that's great, but sometimes you're Abby and sometimes you're my boss, and I respect both very much..." Abby says she's Abby. C.J. says she agrees with Amy: "Look, they take this job away from me, I've got nothing. I don't have a cat. I could get one, but I don't have one. Frankly, I'm not wild about cats. I don't hate them, I'm just not..." Donna looks at her, thinking to herself, "Geez, lady, even I manage to have cats and get laid once every three years. What's your problem?" C.J. trails off: "I could learn to like them, I guess, if I..." Abby: "C.J..." C.J. snaps out of her feline-related daze and says, "You've got a husband, and children, and a home, and a life and we're talking about one year of your not having a medical license!" So, wait just a damn minute, because she's a wife and mother she's not supposed to care about what happens to her career, or whether it's taken away from her for a year? Why don't I hear anyone suggesting that the President go sit in the corner for a year with his thumb up his butt, and furthermore, not mind? After all, he's a husband and father. He's got other things to keep him busy. Why can I not even imagine anyone making this argument to Jed for one second? I totally agree that Abby needs to be professionally disciplined for her wrongdoing. But so did Jed, and how is it exactly that his punishment works out that he gets to not only keep being President, but get re-elected, and she ends up getting the shaft? And if you think it's only the one-year suspension, stay tuned, kiddies. It gets much worse.