Previously: Charlie and Zoey had a relationship. Then she went to France and fell in love with Pierre EscargoAway and my viewing life turned to crap. Wait, it was already crap.

First of all, let us all say a short prayer that my remote (the second in four years, and this one's only over a year old) doesn't die on me before the end of May, much less the end of this recap. (Those of you not into prayer can just waft good vibes in my general direction.) The rewind button is refusing to work, making recapping extremely difficult. Fortunately, it shouldn't be a problem to get the gist of things, since there's so much repetitive dialogue. Huzzah? Anyway: Dear God, it's me, Deborah. Four episodes of The West Wing, and a baker's dozen of Trading Spaces to go. I'm so scared, God. Please let the remote hold out. I promise not to let Norman Fishbein feel me up anymore.

Josh and C.J. are getting ready for a Friday-night poker game in Leo's office and arguing about whether it's possible, during some unspecified yet exact moment during the equinox, to stand eggs vertically on their ends. This is quite a hoary legend, but C.J.'s bought it nonetheless. Josh says he's tried it and it doesn't work. As they're bickering about it, Leo enters in full gastronome mode: "We've got pastrami from Krupin's. It's tissue-paper-thin. Roast beef, corned beef, turkey, Russian dressing, coleslaw, and seedless rye. And winning the hard-earned money of your co-workers. This is what I call a night off." Wow. I wouldn't call spending the evening in my office a night off, no matter what I was doing, but I guess these people no longer have normal standards. They're going to need a re-entry program in 2006. Leo invites C.J. to "squeeze this piece of rye bread." Since it's the best offer she's had since Marco, she readily accepts. Margaret comes in to fetch Leo and he leaves C.J. there with the floppy piece of bread. Josh and C.J. go back to arguing about eggs and equinoxes. Toby comes in, and Josh draws him into the argument. Toby, of course, pooh-poohs the idea. There's a lot of repetitious chatter about it. Honestly, if I worked with people who were this repetitious in their yammering, I would be slapping someone almost every single day. C.J. insists that she's seen it.

Donna comes in -- dressed, apparently, to go the bartending job at which she's moonlighting during the seventy-eight minutes a day when she's not at Josh's beck and call. Sure, she could use that time for sleeping, but how else is she going to pay for Lisa's pony? Wait. Wrong show. Donna's wearing tight black pants, a white pinstriped man's-style shirt with a huge collar, and a close-fitting black vest with a matching white pinstriped back so it looks like there's only a front to the thing. Or maybe it's just a fake sewn-on front. That'd be really bad. And her shirt's sticking out the bottom of the vest. Her hair's in a ponytail. She's wearing a two-strand necklace of small white beads or pearls. Who though this was a good look? I've seen better clothes on Kimberly Caldwell and Carmen Rasmusen. Anyway, someone from the Counsel's office wants Josh to meet tonight with a candidate for the Associate's position. Apparently the previous Associate moved to Miami, or something. Just up and disappeared one day, no explanation. Isn't that weird? The candidate's only in town one night. Josh relents, though it's his night off. Just a thought, but you might have more luck with that whole "night off" thing if you, oh, actually left the building. Donna wants to know if she can take Josh's seat in the game. Josh answers by saying that he misses Ainsley, since Sam isn't there to say it. He blathers on about how Ainsley's position should be filled with another Ainsley: "A sexy conservative with first-rate law credentials and a strange name." Can't imagine why Ainsley would have decamped to Miami. On second thought, just stay in the building after all. I'm sure the women of D.C. have enough trouble meeting worthwhile men without you clogging up the process. Donna asks again if she can play. Josh asks who's playing. Toby: "Anyone with currency."