West Wing
Faith Based Initiative

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Punctuation Is For Sissies!

In Josh's office, Santos asks Josh what he's working on. "Actually, right now, trying to build an indoor rain forest." Santos, awkwardly: "Well, good luck with that." Based on the nervous tension between them, I'm going to say that these two definitely did it while Josh was in Houston. They've got that total "morning after" vibe. Josh apologizes: "I'm sorry about landing on you in Houston like that." Those exuberant leaps into bed can be painful if you're not careful. Santos tells Josh that Mrs. Santos wants to kill him. Josh: "I've got a lot of women mad at me." Homewrecker. Josh explains that he really will be late for an important meeting about the budget. Santos: "So, would this be a package deal?" Well, I think there are some packages involved. Josh is wondering if Santos is talking about the budget, but he clarifies that he is not: "I've been thinking about your nine-point plan. But I would like to add a tenth." Josh: "What's that?" Santos: "You." Y'all, I could not make this stuff up. If they're going to feed me lines like this, how am I not supposed to think that they're in love? This dialogue could come straight from a Meg Ryan movie. ["'Straight'?" -- Wing Chun] Josh looks at Santos, wide-eyed. And that right there is the Gayest Look of the Episode. Santos: "I'm in, if you're in with me." Yeah, I think that's a given. Commercials.

Bingo Bob is meeting with some unknown, unnamed people in a conference room. Bob: "So no one here is troubled that the Paper Reduction Act is more than five hundred pages long?" Nooooobody laughs. Nobody. Sensing how dead the room is, Russell ends the meeting before they start with the rotten vegetables.

Bob swaggers out into a hallway, where he runs into Toby. Yeah, he really swaggers -- you can almost see the little horse between his legs. Um, that didn't come out right. Anyway, Russell tells Toby, "You can always tell a bureaucrat, but you can't tell him much." Oh, how droll. This is clearly the wit of a future president. Toby's not much better, coming back with "Unless you tell him in triplicate." Bob asks Toby what he wants, and Toby brings up the Sanctity of Marriage Act. Bob allows that Will already briefed him on it, asking whether Will was any help to Toby. Toby: "He's not obedient as he used to be." I hope to God that didn't inspire someone to write some Toby/Will slash. Toby tells Russell, "I know you don't want to get ahead of the President on this, but we need you to come out...against the Sanctity of Marriage Act." Okay, maybe the pause wasn't that pronounced. But I did almost think Toby was going to stop the sentence right there. In any case, Bingo Bob responds, "Why would I want to do that?" Toby is as impassioned as we've seen him in a while, telling Bob, "This amendment isn't about protecting marriage. It's about institutionalizing the last acceptable form of discrimination. You can't just sit back and allow the religious right to hijack the social agenda in this country. Presidential campaigning has to be about more than duck and cover." Yeah -- it's probably also about getting a word in edgewise.

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West Wing

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