West Wing

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B+ | 1 USERS: A-
Fresh Icelandic Mink Whale Meat With a Side of Green Beans
Donna: We have colonized Puerto Rico, and they will rise up against us.
Josh: I think we can take'em.
Donna: That's what we said about the British.
Josh: We took the British.
Donna: You know what I'm saying!
Josh: Hardly ever.

Donna gives up, and Toby comes up with details for Josh about Galileo's mission, and how everything was on target up to the point where it was supposed to release two probes, firing them deep into the ground in the search for water. This didn't happen. Josh asks, "We think if we hit the ground hard enough, we can make it to the centre of the planet and find water?" Toby says yeah. Josh asks, "That's not a theory of physics pretty much disproved by Wile E. Coyote?" The probes were supposed to send a signal back to Earth but it hasn't happened. It entered a communications blackout period and hasn't been heard from since. Toby adds, "I know how it feels." Toby says they're trying whatever things they try in these situations and that he's going to give it an hour and then tell Leo they have to cancel the classroom. Donna calls to Josh from outside his office about the stamp. Josh looks weary and tells Toby that he was supposed to do this. Toby says, "I delegated it." Toby leaves as Donna strides into Josh's office, saying that she has more index cards. We're left to imagine the look of sheer delight on Josh's face.

Toby ambles down the hall toward C.J.'s office, as she walks out awkwardly trying to swing a deep royal blue satin stole over her Armani ballgown, a dress with a white off-the-shoulder top with royal blue and white sequins and beads and a royal blue skirt. She looks fab. Toby asks where she's going. C.J. replies, "I have to go to the Kennedy Center and be with people who don't like me." Toby: "You can do that here." Sam comes up in his tux. C.J. explains to Toby that Jed wants them to discuss broader themes for the classroom. Toby doesn't think there'll be a classroom; C.J. says Jed's holding out hope. Sam carps about Mallory being there. As the three of them race down the hallway, Sam rambles on, recapping the situation with Mallory and the picture and his failure to call her, summarizing, "I don't even know what dating is anymore." Toby comments, "Well, that's twenty seconds of my life I'm never gonna get back." C.J. grabs Sam by the hand and hustles him out. As they breeze past Leo's office, we see Margaret standing in front of a woman sitting in a chair, waiting for Leo. Margaret makes small talk clumsily and finally tells the guest that she'll be waiting outside, and that if she needs anything, to just shout her name, which is Margaret. Margaret goes back to her area and runs into Leo, and tells him that the Russian ambassador is there. She says, "I left her alone 'cause I think I was freaking her out." Leo: "It wouldn't surprise me." ["See? This is what I'm talking about." -- Wing Chun] He goes into his office and greets Madam Ambassador, who proceeds to hit on him as much as she can in seventy-nine seconds. She calls him Leo in a very warm Russian accent, and tells him he looks handsome, and that he gets more handsome every year, and that she can see that he's having his suits hand-made now. Sure, but if you think he's not going to call you on your little oil refinery story, you've got another thing coming, Natasha. He asks her right out, "Nadia, are you hitting on me?" Nadia, Natasha, whatever. She says, oozing with sincerity, "I was sorry to hear about your divorce." Leo's had enough: "You have a fire in a missile silo." She reiterates the oil-refinery lie. He shows her Keyhole satellite photos and asks her to point to the refinery in those pictures. She blithely claims she's not in a position to comment on matters of national security. In that case, Leo would like to know how an oil-refinery fire relates to national security. She thinks he should take up the matter with the Foreign Minister; Leo indicates quite firmly that he is taking it up with her. Leo asks if her country is ready to deny that there was a missile-silo explosion, and tells her that the U.S. knows how to deal with these kinds of emergencies, and he wants Russia to ask them for help.

Presidential motorcade: sirens, lights, security up the wazoo. Jed's in the back of a limo with Charlie, and complaining about the concert. He wants to know what the orchestra's playing, and for how long. Charlie tells him that it's billed as an "Evening of Modern Music." Jed calls out for the driver to turn the car around. Charlie elaborates, mentioning that the ninety-piece orchestra includes anvils and castanets. Jed, louder this time: "Turn the car around!" Charlie opines that modern music is cool. Jed replies, "Modern music sucks. Anything written after 1860 sucks." ["What about 'Yellow Submarine'?" -- Wing Chun] Jed continues commenting as Charlie names various pieces of music by Barber ("Sucks.") Stravinsky ("Sucks.") and Schoenberg ("Totally blows!"). Charlie continues, "After intermission they'll be performing the world premiere of a piece..." Jed interrupts, "Played on teapots and gefilte fish..." Charlie finishes, "...by a new Icelandic composer." Charlie mentions that he was told that this composer got so nervous when he heard POTUS was coming that he was rewriting the piece up until 6:00 PM. I wonder when the orchestra will have time to learn that. Jed says, "If he wants more time, I'm happy to take a rain cheque." Charlie asks, "I thought you liked classical music." Jed says, "I do, but this is not classical music. It is not classical music if the guy finished writing it this afternoon." They arrive at the Kennedy Center and drive into the President's secret underground entrance. Well, I guess it's not particularly secret. But it sure isn't the open-air policy that prevailed prior to the shooting. POTUS, Charlie and the various security guys catch up with C.J. and POTUS says, "A broader theme." C.J. says that she and Sam will be talking about it. POTUS complains that he doesn't get that many opportunities to talk to kids. C.J. says that, at some point, she's going to have to pull the plug in order to give people enough notice. POTUS understands that, but wants to let everybody work on the problem for a while. As they walk into the freight elevator, Jed asks where Sam is. C.J. indicates that he's inside hiding from Mallory. POTUS asks why, and C.J. wonders whether Jed really wants to know. His answer: "Not at all."

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West Wing




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