West Wing
Guns Not Butter

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B | 1 USERS: A-
Votes and Goats

Donna buttonholes Ellen in the Republican cloakroom: "Where do you learn to run out the clock like that?" Ellen sighs and says Hardin's voting her conscience. Yeah, whatever. Donna says Hardin understands foreign aid: "I've heard her talk about it. She's supposed to do what's right." Ellen argues she's supposed to do what the people think is right. Donna makes a last-ditch attempt, asking Ellen to take the cell phone and walk it to Hardin on the floor: "That's all you have to do." While Ellen wrestles with her own mighty conscience, finally taking the phone, they hear a voice on the PA system announce that time has expired and the yeas and nays have been ordered. Ellen: "Win some, you lose some." Donna gives her a weary smile and says, "Can I tell you something? Josh has asked me to work Saturdays, work Sundays, and at least once a week he has me there after 1:00 AM. He's asked me to transpose portions of the federal budget into base 8, go to North Dakota and dress as an East German cocktail waitress. In five years of working for him, he's never asked me to hide him from something." Take that, pipsqueak. She asks for his phone back. She takes it and leaves. I think I speak for almost everyone when I say we'd like the details of this cocktail waitress thing.

Danny and C.J. are eating Chinese food together. Danny: "You havin' that?" C.J.: "Yes." Danny: "All of it?" C.J.: "Yes!" Danny: "What about this?" C.J.: "Yes!" Danny: "I'm pointing at twenty-three packets of soy sauce!" C.J. insists, "I give 'em to the homeless." Danny remarks, "That's helpful." She asks if he's going to talk through the whole vote. He says they're going to lose this one 60-40. C.J.: "Danny…" Danny: "Did I ruin the end?' C.J. gestures with her chopsticks, making a tiny space between them, and asks, "Could you even have this much sensitivity?" Danny: "No." C.J.: "Why?" Danny says they blew it. C.J. says the Senate blew it: "We did everything but pass a hat!" Danny: "Nobody wants to put money in a hat in Botswana when you got hats that need filling here. You can't make this about charity. It's about self-interest." There's such a thing as enlightened self-interest. A world with less poverty, disease, and ignorance is a world with less terrorism, violence, and suffering. Danny: "We cut farm assistance in Colombia. Every single crop we developed was replaced with cocaine. We cut aid for primary education in northwest Pakistan and Egypt; the kids went to madrassahs. Why weren't you making a case that Republican senators are bad on drugs, and bad on national security? Why are Democrats always so bumfuzzled?" Hee. Excellent word. He adds, "By the way, sixty-five more flight schools today. Maisy hasn't found your guy. Don't worry. There are thousands more." C.J.: "You know something there, General Cho? If you had a story, you'd write it. If you don't have one, shut up." She shoves an egg roll in his mouth. "We just lost a vote. We're not bumfuzzled. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cancel a photo op with a goat." She takes a swig of beer before leaving.

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West Wing




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