West Wing
Guns Not Butter

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B | 1 USERS: A-
Votes and Goats

Back at the White House, someone brings Charlie the blue envelope, which he takes back to his desk. He rereads the letter and gets the Pentagon on the speakerphone, asking for Sergeant Major Moreland. A Colonel Wolf answers the phone, and Charlie explains that he wanted Sergeant Moreland. Colonel Wolf wants to help. Charlie doesn't want to impose, saying that he plays basketball with Barry Moreland. Colonel Wolf says, "Sergeant Moreland works for me, Mr. Young. How can I help the President?" Ruh-roh! Charlie starts to protest again but then decides to tell his story, winding up by asking whose eyes he can put this letter in front of. Colonel Wolf says he'll look into it, and asks Charlie to send the letter today. Charlie thanks him and says he will.

Josh is in the Roosevelt Room, staring at the whiteboard listing the votes, when Will approaches him again. He says, "Can't find Hardin?" Josh lists all the places they're looking for her. Will apologizes for bothering him again when he's under such pressure, but the speech… He says he cut "enduring wisdom." "'The American people have spoken. They have chosen to return to Washington a President of one party and a Congress of another." Josh interjects, "You say that like constitutional scholars made a conscious choice, weighing checks and balances." Will says they did make a conscious choice: "And in their defence, a lot of people have a hard time seeing the difference." Josh: "Are any of those people in this room?" Will says no. Josh spreads his arms, gesturing with his hands to indicate the diametric opposition of party goals: "One wants to save Social Security, the other wants to privatize it; one wants to make polluters pay to clean up pollution, the other wants to give tax breaks so they can pollute more; one wants to send aid to countries…" Note that he's using his left hand for Democrats and right hand for Republicans. That was probably unconscious. Josh interrupts: "Okay," and points out that Cantina voted no to both Kosovo peacekeeping and UN dues: "He's just going to burn time." Josh: "No kidding." Will leaves.

Josh sees Toby out in the hall and calls out to him. Glancing into Toby's office and seeing Bill Scully, Josh asks, "Hoebuck?" (Hoebuck? What is this, Joe Millionaire?) Toby says Hoebuck came to him. Josh says Hoebuck authored a bill to insert the word "God" into the Pledge of Allegiance four more times. Um, where? Where, exactly, could you fit the word God in there even another two times without rendering it completely nonsensical? Toby: "Yeah, well, once you've broken that down, what the hell does it matter?" He walks to his office, dumping his coat on Ginger's desk as he goes. She doesn't look too happy about it. No coat tree in his office? There's some other woman in the office too, who's neither greeted nor introduced. Hoebuck cuts to the chase: in exchange for his vote on the foreign aid bill, he wants $115,000. In small, unmarked bills. Just kidding about the last part. Toby corrects him, saying Hoebuck meant to say "a million." Hoebuck: "I appreciate the Democrats know how to read my mind but I meant $115,000." Toby: "For what?" Hoebuck wants to pay people to pray. Toby: "Out of the federal budget?" Hey, I'll take the money. I'll pray up a storm. Er, not literally. Unless, you know, rain is needed. Anyway, Hoebuck says "Yeah." Toby: "And this woman leads a world-class team of psychiatrists?" Hee. Hoebuck chuckles, saying Toby's awfully close: "This is Dr. Gwendolyn Chen. She's the Chief Cardiologist at Duke Medical Centre. Have you ever heard of intercessory prayer or remote prayer?" Toby: "This is where you draw up a list of sinners…" Hoebuck explains, "People pray for you even though you're not aware of it." Toby says C.J. got spammed with that a few months ago. Hoebuck: "Was that before or after her agent got shot at a fruit stand?" Fruit stand? Wasn't it a convenience store? That wasn't a kumquat he was buying, it was a Snickers. Toby asks, "You really want to make a rim shot out of a Secret Service Agent getting dead?" Hoebuck: "You really want to refer to people's prayers as spam?"

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West Wing




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