West Wing
H. Con-172

Episode Report Card
Deborah: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Fall With Grace

Charlie shows C.J. into the Oval Office. Jed's poring over paperwork. She begins, "Well, this might sound ridiculous...." Jed, not looking up from his work: "Let's lay odds." C.J. mentions that he knows they're vetting this book, and reads a quote indicating that apparently it's well-known that, in order to have a son after having his first two daughters, Bartlet allegedly consulted a book about how to choose the sex of your baby, which advised that the prospective father avoid jockey shorts, jockstraps, and other tight-fitting clothes. Both C.J. and Jed look over their reading glasses at each other when she finishes with this. Jed says nothing for a moment and then carefully asks, "Yeah?" C.J.: "So I can put you down for a 'no'?" Jed replies, "When you're going to be a father, you're rooting for ten fingers and ten toes, and that's it." Or, as my brother-in-law put it when my sister was expecting my perfect and adorable niece and I teasingly asked if they had a preference for a daughter or a son: "Anything, as long as it doesn't have flippers!" C.J. thanks Jed and starts to leave, but then he tells her to wait, because he wants to show her his wonderful map. He comes out from behind his desk, and she says, "I know, but you can't put it up in the West Wing." They basically have the same conversation he and Toby had about it, and Jed thinks it's ridiculous. C.J. says, "You know what would be great?" Jed: "If I put it someplace else?" C.J.: "Yes!" Jed: "Leo has, in what used to be his house when he was married, a map of the United States. The first third of it is the original thirteen colonies. The second third of it is the French territory of Louisiana. And the third third is Mexico. In this there's not a single state. That's because, when this map was made, there was no United States. I am the President of the United States and I'm not offended by it!" C.J.: "Well, you're bigger than ten men, sir. What do you say we put it out of the way?"

As Charlie enters, Jed replies, "I'm having it enlarged and bolted to the hood of my limo!" He gestures with the rolled-up map. He complains to Charlie, "They don't want us to put up our map, Charlie. They're Philistines in the fight for freedom, but that doesn't bother us, does it?" He pronounces it "Phili-steins," rather than "Phili-steens." Charlie gives him a look much like the one he gave Toby about the séance and says, "Huh?" Jed says, "Never mind." C.J. says, "It's not like I'm agreeing with the people who are going to be offended. It's just that you're asking for a whole lot of pain, in exchange for which you get nothing but an old map." Jed: "That's the key! An old map, an old map! Spin that." C.J.: "See, now you've got me out there spinning things." Jed asks if there's anything else. C.J.: "You didn't have special underwear, right?" Charlie gives C.J. another questioning look. Jed thanks her and she leaves. Charlie gives Jed a weird look as he hands him the file. I think somebody needs a raise and a vacation.

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West Wing

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