Two grunts who've picked up the tail end of the conversation ["that would be the infamous Ed and Larry" -- Wing Chun] shared puzzled looks. "I don't really want to know what he's going to find in his filing cabinet. Do you?" asks Thin Grunt. "Noooooo," replies Plumper Grunt.
Meanwhile, in the Oval Office, Old Man Thinner and Generals Mix and Match thank the President for an off-camera meeting and exit; C.J. strolls in. Leo is there, and he wants C.J. to leak that the U.S.S. Carl Vinson is going to do what's called a passing exercise with the U.S.S. Independence; Leo wants South China media to pick it up right away. A passing exercise (known as "Passex" in the military) involves ship-to-ship communication like radio, light flashes, and flag signaling as well as maneuvering drills, and has very little to do with farting. C.J. leaves to leak the story. Charlie pops in and lets the President know that Toby is waiting. POTUS lets Leo go. Toby enters the room a little cautiously. Will the President go apeshit on him for their last meeting? That has to be somewhere in the back of Toby's mind. "Good evening Mr. President, welcome back," says Toby. "Thanks," POTUS replies, "c'mon in." With a little circular gesture worthy of a Sam Seaborn, Toby presents a note and says, "I think this note was delivered to me by mistake." Bartlet walks around in the front of his desk and asks, "What's it say?" "Come play chess, the greatest metaphor ever," Toby states. "No, that's for you," POTUS explains, "and prepare to be metaphoricalized. Old-school style." Toby states that it reads, "Sigmund, come play chess," to which the President says, "That was a joke. Not so funny, eh?" Eager to change the subject, Toby remarks upon how beautiful a chess set it is, and oh lordy lordy he gives Bartlet another opportunity to give us a little history about it. Rule #1 about Chess Club: Don't talk about Chess Club. Getting down to brass tacks, the President removes his jacket and asks Toby to sit. "Look, you were out of line, I was a jackass -- let's call it a truce," says the President in a refreshing moment of honesty. Toby returns the sentiment: "Well, I certainly apologize, sir." POTUS moseys over to the chess set, parks the Presidential bum on the sofa, and says, "Let's play chess." "Aren't you in the middle of a game with Sam?" asks Toby, hoping to get out of the room as soon as possible. Bartlet, being all smart and proud of himself and his big juicy Chess Club brain, declares, "Yeah, but he's....one, two, four, eight, twelve moves from checkmate. You take white." Sorry, Toby; no getting out of this one. That sounded like a Presidential Chess Playing Order if ever there was one. I reckon there're issues to be worked out between these two recent antagonists, and what better backdrop for the attempted resolution of the matter than The Game of Chess? I'll tell you what: Uno. If you're talking strategy, backstabbing, frustration, and comeuppance then you, my friend, are talking about Uno. ["Or Pop-a-Matic Trouble." -- Wing Chun]