Toby: Who you trying to convince?
President: I'm saying I don't watch the pitch go by. And if I do it's not because of my father --
Toby: He was an idiot.
Whoooooa, Toby! Whoa, boy! You just got back on track since the last time you met, and you pull out that gem? Have you forgotten the rule? The first rule of Jed's Dad Club is not to talk about Jed's Dad Club. So the President is a little miffed: "Can we talk about...God! Can we talk about...PLEASE...can we talk about my father with some respect? The man's gone...he wasn't a Dickens character." Toby mutters, "Yes, sir." Knock knock! Leo wants the President. There's tension in the air. The President checks. Toby moves. The President checks. Toby moves. The President checks. It's like the flow of the chess game is mirroring the mood in the room somehow! How can this be? How many supercomputers did it take to write that one? "I'll be back," POTUS informs Toby. "Don't cheat. I know exactly where the pieces on the board are. I know exactly where the piece on Sam's board are, and I know exactly where they are on David Wheaton's." Message to Toby: watch yourself, fucker; I never forget.
Nancy and Leo and waiting for the President. Nancy informs POTUS that "the carriers are thirty-five minutes from the Strait." Without missing a beat, POTUS responds, "All right, you can bring the ambassador back now, and get Beijing." Nancy says she needs the actual order (a.k.a. The American Ass Cover). The President says, "The Aegis Destroyers." Nancy nods. The Prez nods. Leo nods. Homer the vigilante nods at Principal Skinner the vigilante, who nods back at Homer a little more quickly and then Homer nods a little more quickly back at Skinner until the whole thing erupts in a hilarious super-nod fest. How is the President saying "The Aegis Destroyers" any more of any order than "all right, you can bring the ambassador back now and get Beijing"? Inquiring recappers want to know. "Just out of curiosity," asks Nancy, "what happens if that doesn't work?" "I don't know," answers POTUS, "but for sure we are going to blame you." "Yes, sir," Nancy says before she goes off to find a semen-stained dress in case she needs a little leverage one day.
Leo: What's going on?
President: Toby keeps saying I let the pitch go by.
Leo: What pitch?
President: I soften. I smooth myself out publicly. It's not a put-on, by the way, I'm honestly folksy.