Ack! More patriotism! Loud! I think my heart may burst! Rob Lowe is still in the credits even though he's not really in the episode. Oops. Joshua Malina! He has my favorite lips of anyone in any Sorkin show so far. Aw, crap. I only agreed to recap this show because I thought it was Charlie Sheen playing the president. Well, damn.
If canceling Providence is the only way to get that woman's bewitching, hair-blowing-in-the-wind stare off my screen, then so be it. Damn the torpedoes!
It's snowy outside the White House. Inside, it's even more festive: There's singing. Am I wrong to wonder about guys who prefer to spend their time singing in a chorus instead of, oh, drinking beer? We pan toward the singers, who are doing "Bye Bye Blackbird." As they sing in their fancy schmancy clothes, a couple in the front row exchange an appreciate glance. Oh, yeah, this totally tops tickets to The Producers. C.J. emerges from a hallway and stands in the doorway looking in on the performance. Carol is standing next to her with a diagonal smile. C.J. says it's really getting bad outside, and she's worried about the airport closing. Carol asks if they should finish up the performance. C.J. says they should wrap things up after another song, and then she fantasizes aloud about one of them taking her to their place and... "They're twenty years old, ma'am," Carol says. C.J. concludes that they'd take her to their place and sing. A horny C.J. is a funny C.J. Carol laughs and walks off. C.J. continues watching the very fast singing. Then she walks off does a scene handoff to Leo, telling him he should go listen.
Leo finds Josh at the copy machine. He asks whether Josh is staying in town. Josh goes on a little mini-rant about Donna staying with Jack at the Washington Inn, a place Josh can't get a room. Uh, Josh? Leo was asking about you, not Donna. Josh realizes what he just did and says he's not sure what he's doing. Leo says that Israel is closing the Church of the Nativity and what the hell is up with that? (Um, sorry, Jesus.) Josh says that's ironic. "Why?" Leo asks impatiently. Josh says because Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room at the inn and they went to this place. Is that really irony, or is this a stretched kind of Alanis Morissette form of irony? Wing, you wanna offer a verdict here? ["Meh. I can't even bring myself to complain about this show anymore. Go, Opposibs!" -- Wing Chun] Josh asks if the irony isn't self-evident. Leo says it's not funny. Josh says he knows. Leo repeats that it's not funny. Oh, God, I'm already exhausted here. Why is The West Wing the one show that doesn't have closed captioning on my TV set? And why do they talk. So. Much? At least on Gilmore Girls, there's an honest-to-goodness joke or a cute pop-culture reference at the end of a long string of fast, clipped sentences. This show is like getting shot in the stomach with a semi-automatic word Uzi. Josh asks why they closed the church. Leo says he doesn't know, but asks Josh to find out. There's no Bethlehem Citysearch website?