West Wing
Inauguration, Part I

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A Thoroughly Unimportant Country

When Will reaches the door, he stops, comes back, and says he's only working at the White House another four days. Toby: "But what?" Will: "He'd do a radio address proposing free liposuction to every child of woman born if you wrote it for him." Toby says Will's wrong, and if Toby did, he'd be fired shortly thereafter. Will: "Maybe...but ten pounds lighter." He leaves. Elsie stands at the door with a half a smirk on her face, 'cause her big brother just burned the nasty man. And there she hangs, like a gym sock on shower rod, (to quote someone I personally wish were a regular tertiary character on this show), until Toby tells her to go back to doing whatever it is she does. And if someone finds out what the devil that is, could they let me know? Elsie leaves, and has the nerve to give him a bit of a stink-eye while doing it.

Wednesday. Charlie escorts some men into the lobby of the White House. A couple of them are carrying some kind of stand covered with a heavy red cloth. Charlie says they'll take it into the Blue Room and look at it there. Jed happens to wander through at this precise moment and he asks if this is it. Charlie says it is, and introduces Adam Kent from the Jonathan Edwards Historical Foundation. POTUS shakes Adam's hand and says it's good to meet him; Adam says they've met before. He then unveils the stand to reveal the huge honkin' John Edwards Bible. Wait, we're not talking about that Crossing Over guy, are we? No, I guess that's someone different. ["That's John Edward -- no 's.'" -- Wing Chun] Anyway. It's a serious Bible. It seems like it's about eighteen inches high and a few inches thick. I wonder if that's actually his real Bible. Jed says, "It's yooge." Adam says it ought to be. Jed says it can't be. Adam explains that it's a pulpit folio, from the days when portability wasn't an issue: "Illuminations add pages, as well as heft. Also, it's written in four languages." I'd think that would get Jed going. Jed explains that FLOTUS has to hold the Bible in her hand: "This one's going to take the First Lady, the Chief Justice, and the Second Circuit Court of Appeals." Apparently not listening, Adam continues confidently, like a car salesman running down the features on a new Canyonero: "Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic, and English." Jed tells Adam that Charlie's going to take care of him. He pulls Charlie aside saying, "That Bible's the size of a Volkswagen. Can we get the Washington Bible?"

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