West Wing
Inauguration, Part I

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A Thoroughly Unimportant Country

Outside, Will asks Charlie if he could get Governor Bartlet's public statements from the New Hampshire State House. Charlie says it's not a problem. He also asks for copies of Bartlet's floor speeches from the House. Charlie offers to send a couple of people to the Library of Congress. Before he can finish, Josh says, "...everything he's ever said out loud in his life?" Yup, that's what Will wants.

Donna knocks on Josh's door saying the tickets came. Josh: "For what?" Donna: "The balls." Josh: "Could you hang onto mine for me until Sunday?" Donna: "Yeah." Bwah! I just exploded with laughter on that one. I wasn't even sure I heard it right at first. I don't know how Brad Whitford and Janel Moloney got through that without smirking themselves silly. Well, they're professionals and all. I think it helps that they were positioned so they didn't have to look at each other while delivering those lines. Also: was that a 'shipper shout-out? Also: Bwah! Donna tells Josh that Jack will be wearing a sabre. Josh: "God, Donna, please tell me that's not the only thing he's going to be wearing." Donna waxes on about Jack's dress blues and the various bits of official bumph, boojum, and brass he'll have all over them, among which are a Purple Heart and a Bronze Cross. Guess she loves a man in uniform. Josh: "I'll be wearing a tuxedo from Gary's." Yeah, but she'd still dump Sparky like so much moldy cheese if you made one clear, unmistakeable move toward her, Josh. Josh wants to know who's been on the phone. Donna says it's people from the State Department. He can't figure out how they know about the change in the speech already. Donna says they want to know why their Public Affairs Director is meeting with Will Bailey. Wait, I thought he was the Communications Director. Josh says that POTUS asked Toby and Will to look at the language, and tells her to keep the President out of it. Then he thinks better of it and tells her to tell them Josh asked them to look at it. Donna mentions as she leaves, "Thirteen buttons on the trousers." Josh, with a cute smile: "I don't want to know how you know that." Except he totally does. Donna smiles flirtatiously and saunters off.

Banquet room. Lots of religious types (you can tell from the assorted headgear: nuns' habits, yarmulkes, kufis, zucchettos, etc.) standing behind their chairs around tables as a cardinal conducts a prayer for the President's administration. He also beseeches God on behalf of the American missionaries in Kundu, asking for their safe evacuation. He prays for the people of Kundu, too. Everyone sits down; the cardinal who led the prayer is at Jed's table. Immediately, a man with an indeterminate African accent tells the cardinal, "Patrick, you may pray all you wish, but thousands upon thousands of African children will die unless the U.S. intervenes. Tens of thousands of Kundunese children and their parents slaughtered." Patrick: "Well, I don't control the armed forces, Zake." Jed: "No, he was talking to me, Your Eminence." He turns to Zake and says, "Your Excellency, I got a very sketchy intelligence report on the violence in the capital about an hour ago." Zake says that the violence is not limited to Bitanga, but that it's spread to the countryside. Jed didn't know that. Zake wonders if he can ask POTUS something, with all due respect: "If mass genocide had broken out in a small European country, would your intelligence briefing this morning have been quite so sketchy?" Jed admits that it would not. Zake says, "I join my colleagues in their prayers for the safe evacuation of the Americans." Burn. Also? So far, I like where this is going.

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