Santos's campaign staff is obviously much smaller than Russell's, but things are still hectic. Ronna is reading through the schedule, which includes a photo op with Albert, the world's largest bull. Santos tells his wife, "The campaign's full of metaphors, isn't it." It may be, but the position of Official Campaign Metaphor has already been filled. So Albert can just step off, yo. And that metaphor pops up again, as Santos tells an aide (Ned, I think) that he wants to be able to weigh in on a piece of legislation that is in committee before it goes to a floor vote in the House. Ronna also mentions the "coffee bean caucus," which causes Mrs. Santos to ask what the hell's going on. Josh tells her that it's a restaurant that puts out a jar with each candidate's name on it, and every customer is given a coffee bean to put in the jar of his favorite candidate. Santos is surprised to hear that he has a jar, but Josh tells him, "We've been sending a volunteer in for pie every day for a week." Mrs. Santos tells Santos that he must have seven beans -- like, way to be supportive, Mrs. Santos. Ronna goes on through the schedule, which includes a visit to the nation's oldest Dairy Queen. Ronna mentions that they will fly to some campaign event or other, and Josh is surprised to hear that the campaign has a plane. Shouldn't the campaign manager know things like that? I'm not too impressed with Josh's hands-off management style. Ronna mentions the Corn Expo, and Mrs. Santos asks what they plan to say about ethanol. Santos looks sheepish, and doesn't answer. Josh tells her that ethanol is "the best thing since soft serve." Mrs. Santos mentions that ethanol is subsidized to the tune of one billion dollars a year. Ronna tells Santos that, after the Corn Expo, they will return to the hotel to prepare for the Black and Brown Debate. (I have no idea if that's the official name, but I like seeing it capitalized.) Santos thinks that's pretty ironic, as he looks around at his all-white staff: "All of you are going to prep me for a debate on race?" Josh thinks they at least need to go over the opposing arguments, but Santos is not impressed: "I grew up in Houston, Josh. I lived the opposing arguments."
They all prepare to hit the road, and Santos mentions how awful the Turkey situation is. All the while, Mrs. Santos is staring daggers at Josh. Somebody's jealous. Josh doesn't think that the White House will do much of anything about it, and Mrs. Santos seems pretty upset: "They're executing her because she slept with her fiancé? Thank God she didn't cook him breakfast." And that's the second thing wrong with this sub-subplot. If the guy was her fiancé, it seems safe to assume that neither of them is married. So where's the adultery? Fornication, perhaps, but adultery seems to require that at least one of the two parties be married to some third party. Josh points out that the U.S. executes minors: "The rest of the world thinks that's barbaric." Mrs. Santos: "I'm with the world." Santos asks Mrs. Santos if she's coming along, and she tells him that Peter has the sniffles, so they're going to stay at the hotel for a while. She again raises the $1 billion spent on ethanol. Santos goes to get his coat, and Josh tells him that photos look better without the coat. Santos would rather to be warm than photogenic, however. Come on, Matt -- you know Josh will keep you warm. As Santos walks away, Mrs. Santos points out to Josh that the campaign is at 3% in Iowa, and that the Hispanic population of the state is 2.8%. She thinks the $1 billion spent on ethanol could be spent on a lot of other things. Josh doesn't respond, and he and Santos take off.