More auditions for the Press Secretary Follies. They start with a woman who compares any nation that supports the peacekeeping initiative to a pack of lemmings. Toby asks her if she's comparing the peacekeeping mission to a suicide mission, and she says, "Not necessarily." Toby points out that the lemmings die at the end of the story, and she just gives him a look that seems to say, "Well, there you go." I found this to be utterly hilarious, and I want this woman to be my egg donor when my non-existent partner and I decide to have children. The next guy responds to Toby's question by saying, "Joanne, marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world." I have to say, he seems to already be in the top one hundred on the happiness scale, although not so high on the intelligence ranking. The next guy is so quiet that you can barely hear him, and after Toby asks him to speak up, he seems to get even quieter. There's a little montage of Toby and Donna saying, essentially, "Don't call us, we'll call you" to several candidates. I really think they should have gotten that giant muppet who used to pull people offstage with a hook on The Muppet Show. That would have been awesome. The next guy resists a barrage of questions from Toby, appearing to answer the questions while never actually saying anything. It's such an homage to Ari Fleischer that some forum posters thought that it might actually be Ari. (And since C.J. later describes this guy as having no soul, I must assume that the likeness to Ari was deliberate.) Donna and Toby look impressed.
C.J. walks into her office just in time for Margaret to tell her that the Governor of Tennessee called to ask about whether the Georgian uranium would be stored at Oak Ridge National Laboratory. C.J. is furious about the leak, and tells Margaret to get the Governor on the phone, and to tell Nancy and the Secretary of State each to call him and tell him how important it is to keep this quiet. As Margaret goes to place the calls, Toby walks in and tells C.J. that he has found a Press Secretary. C.J. says that she thought they were going to pull together a short list, and Toby tells her that this was the only guy they met who was any good. Just then Margaret has the Governor on the phone, and C.J. has to take the call. Apparently, it was the Secretary of Energy who informed the governor about the situation. While C.J. is on the phone, Toby tries to tell her that the search for a Press Secretary is done. C.J. puts her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and pretty much yells at Toby, "We're not done. I'd like a list, three to five names." And then, through the rest of her conversation with the Governor, she holds her finger up toward Toby in that gesture that universally means "not one step, buddy."