West Wing

Episode Report Card
Doppelganger: A | 11 USERS: A+
Welcome to the West Wing

Cut to the inside of an airplane where only a few reading lights are on and most of the passengers are asleep. Toby -- who's dark-haired and balding and is played by I-don't-know-who- because-I'm-stupid ["Richard Schiff, late of Relativity and a tiny role in Forces of Nature" -- Wing Chun] -- is working at his laptop and the flight attendant is saying, "Sir, I need you to turn off your computer." ["'Toby'?" -- Wing Chun] He ignores her, and another attendant comes up to him to pass along a message that the captain just received: "Potus in a bicycle accident." Toby pulls out his cellphone, and the attendant tells him he can't. Exasperatedly, Toby says, "We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L10-11. It came off the line twenty months ago. It carries a Zim-5 transpondent tracking system, and you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack." As he gives in and the attendants walk away, he points out that he never got his peanuts.

At this point, I'm thinking he's a bit of a dink for giving the attendant a hard time, because the rules are the rules, right? She doesn't make 'em. But I'm also thinking he's got a good point. Mr. Doppelganger takes this opportunity to observe that Toby reminds him of Spock, which makes sense to me, considering he actually used the phrase "transpondent tracking system" in a sentence. He also used "flummox," which I always thought was a Klingon word, but there you go.

Message: Toby knows a lot about airplanes.

Cut to a bedroom where an attractive woman is wearing a bathrobe and smoking a joint. We hear Rob Lowe's - I mean Sam's - voice from the bathroom, marveling at the water pressure. It occurs to me at this point to make a joke about Rob Lowe's water pressure, but I don't. Sam comes into the room and the woman offers him the joint, which he declines. "I'm wasted," she says. "And probably free of cataracts," he replies. "I get that. It's funny," she says back, strangely without laughing. She's holding up both of their beepers, saying, "These things look exactly alike," at which point giant sirens start going off in my head. FORESHADOWING ALERT. Gosh, I wonder what kinds of monkeyshines will ensue?

Then she remembers that she was supposed to give him a message that came while he was in the washroom, and she tells him that Potus was in a bicycle accident. As Sam goes to leave, she says to "tell your friend Potus he has a funny name." Says Sam, "He's not my friend, he's my boss, and it's not his name, it's his title." Drumroll please: POTUS stands for President of the United States. Thank you. Thank you very much. Y'all drive home safely now.

Message: Sam gets the chicks, but is just dorky enough to make dumb comments about water pressure. We can expect him to do and say some green stuff while he's still learning the ropes. Also, Rob Lowe has clearly signed a pact with Satan, because he hasn't aged since Oxford Blues.

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West Wing




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