It's Sunday afternoon at the DNC, and FLOTUS offers a speech in which she introduces great women who have helped out the Democratic cause during her husband's first term. Up at the dais, Amy accidentally knocks over a candle and spends several awkward moments putting out a small but distracting fire that lands her the less-than-flattering introduction from FLOTUS, "Amy Gardner, who has had seven jobs in three years." FLOTUS ends the speech graciously and even manages to tack on a Seaborn plug over the applause, and we cut to Amy and FLOTUS outside, Amy apologizing profusely. FLOTUS doesn't seem much to care, asking in a seeming non sequitur, "How did you live with Josh Lyman?" FLOTUS is still mad. Amy asks what she's talking about, exactly, so FLOTUS expands on the story we've already seen develop. Amy tells her that they never technically lived together. FLOTUS asks whether Amy wanted to "kill him" when he made condescending statements such as the ones he made to FLOTUS in his office just the other day, and Amy levels with FLOTUS that "my problem was that I wanted to jump him when he said things like that." FLOTUS listens to her for what is apparently the first time in this conversation, asking, "Where did you get your mouth?" Amy's got the answer at the ready: "Brown, and then Yale Law School." Ladies and gentlemen, the first joke about strong women and the schools they attended that doesn't involve a punchline including the word "Vassar." So, thanks for that. But thank you mostly for making fun of Yale.
FLOTUS's attention is once again compromised by a woman with a six-month-lapsed perm and a TJ Maxx blouse. ["It's Lee Garlington, who also plays Mrs. Abbott on Everwood." -- Wing Chun] FLOTUS tells Amy that this approaching woman is "Alana Waterman," who is about to "zatz" her "on fair pay." "Zatz"? Does the First Lady have "make up new word" privilege as part of her presidential perks? ["Also, who is she -- Lindsay Nagel? Is she also going to tell us about 'zing,' 'zork,' and 'kapowza'?" -- Wing Chun] FLOTUS asks Amy to "save" her. Amy asks if she's sure. She responds that she is. Uh oh. And so Alana makes her way over, quickly complimenting FLOTUS on her speech before moving onto the awkward segue: "I'm not sure if you saw my op-ed this morning." Amy kicks in that she's seen it, deeming it "terrific." And "courageous." Why? "Because the leadership wanted fair pay done quietly...but you said 'screw the leadership,' and I think that's courageous." She adds that this move could be interpreted as "left-wing overreaching" and that it "embarrassed" the First Lady in this morning's newspaper, and Alana's all faced and walks away with barely another word. FLOTUS offers Amy a look of horror, and Amy's all, "You said 'save me.'" FLOTUS clarifies one wacky scene too late: "I meant walk me to the other side of the room or something." Amy looks sheepish. Whatever. She already set herself on fire in public. What else besides guerrilla tactics could she really be expected to employ?