Charlie leaves, and C.J. gears up to make her pitch to POTUS. "I'm sorry to ask you this, sir..." Jed: "It's not too late to stop yourself." C.J.: "I need you to pardon a turkey." Jed wonders why he needs to pardon a turkey when he already did one; didn't he do it right? C.J. explains she needs him to pardon another one. Jed asks, "Aren't I going to get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?" Hee! She begs him to just come out and do it, but Jed's not having any of it and wants to know what the hell's going on. C.J. explains about the double turkey trouble: "The more photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's petting zoo; the other one gets eaten." Jed: "If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch." Bwah! She pleads. He tells her just to buy it. She says it's already been sold, so he claims there's nothing he can do. She says he can pardon the turkey. They go back and forth, and C.J. insists the high school kid from the turkey place won't know that the President can't pardon the turkey, having no "judicial jurisdiction over birds," as he puts it. The President is not impressed to learn that a kid in high school doesn't know he can't pardon a turkey. Well, Morton isn't exactly the heirloom Paul Revere carving knife of all the knives in the drawer. C.J.'s betting he won't know. Jed complains about overhauling the public school system but agrees in a fairly exasperated fashion to do it. They go out to the area outside his office where Donna and Morton and Troy are waiting. C.J. introduces POTUS. Morton's reaction is, "Wow." Jed: "Well said." He points to the turkey and asks, "Is that the turkey?" Well, I would guess so. Donna confirms this and Jed tells the turkey, "You're pardoned." He starts to leave when C.J. indicates that some ceremony is required. POTUS blathers: "By the power vested in me by the Constitution of the United States I hereby pardon you." Morton says somewhat excitedly, "Okay!" That's the last straw for Jed. "No, it's not okay! Morton, I can't pardon a turkey. If you think I can pardon a turkey, then you have got to go back to your school and insist you be better prepared to go out in the world." C.J.'s distressed that Jed has exposed the jig, and Donna's surprised to learn that the President can't really pardon a turkey. Everyone looks confused. Jed continues, "I'll tell you what I can do. I'm drafting this turkey into military service. In the meantime, somebody will be drafting a cheque, which will have my signature on it so the folks can buy themselves a Butterball." Morton seems okay with this. I do get the impression, though, that at this point Morton would be okay with it if POTUS said he was going to put the turkey in a uniform and force it to perform selections from H.M.S. Pinafore.
Episode Report CardDeborah: A+ | 921 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT