Donna's in a bar somewhere, and answers her cell phone, "Josh Lyman's office." Josh asks where she is; she says she's at a shutdown party. Josh wants to talk about the list of shutdown effects she faxed. Before he can say more, she assures him that the one about the elks overpopulating is true: "They stopped issuing hunting licenses." He asks why she put Social Security on the list: "It's an entitlement." Donna explains that the people who run the machines that cut the cheques were sent home, and the cheques won't go out unless they get a GAO ruling to bring those workers back in. Donna asks what counsel said about "the other thing." Josh: "It's considered coercion if you come back to work as a volunteer." Donna retorts, "Oh, but it's not coercion to work on a cell phone and run to Kinko's every ten minutes to send you faxes and emails?" Josh makes himself some coffee (he may be the only senior staffer this self-sufficient -- way to go, Ma & Pa Lyman) while in the background, Marina Lewinsky indicates that she found a bulb. Josh: "The AARP considers you essential." Donna asks, "When do you think I'll get my essential paycheque? Rent's due the end of the month." Josh says he'll lend her money. Donna: "Yeah, but wouldn't that just be emblematic of all these stopgap continuing resolutions? Taking out a loan, begging for an extension rather than grappling with the hard reality of...." Yeah, I'll bet your landlord really gives a flying shit about all of that. Josh: "You're right. Get a cheaper apartment." Just live at the Y. You're never home. She says she wants to come in and do her job. Josh: "Tell me about it." Donna: "Stop being a baby and just go! Leo's not going to send you an engraved invitation." Josh: "I don't need calligraphy. He knows where my office is." Donna can't argue that. She hangs up.
Will, Toby, and C.J. are in the War Room. ["Dude. Which one? I don't get it!" -- Wing Chun] Will says that Social Security is an entitlement, as Toby selects a pizza slice. C.J. says it's one way to make the shutdown seem real: don't mail 11,000,000 cheques. Will says if they let this happen it will be catastrophic. Toby: "FDR will rise from the dead?" If he does, I hope he kicks the sorry ass of each person in this building. Will paints a dire picture of geezers marching on Washington and rioting in the streets. Toby says Josh is taking care of it. Leo and Angela come in, announcing that they still have the offer; the Republicans are holding at 3%. Will asks if POTUS will accept he. Leo says he has to. Toby: "Yeah, but will he?" Leo says, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." Pause. "I made a call." He looks ominous. Will: "To who?" Toby and C.J. exchange significant glances, chewing their pizza slowly. Will: "Who? Who'd he call?" Oh, lord.