Another shot of Toby killing time in the empty office, tossing his little red ball into garbage cans. It's 5:11 AM. He does this until the clock registers 5:45 AM. exactly. Fortunately, they don't show us those thirty-four minutes. He dials POTUS and asks if he has Prince Albert in a can.
Jed -- probably sleeping alone -- answers the phone and says, "Charlie, we're going to surgically implant a snooze button. It won't hurt much." Jed's wearing pyjamas, so he's not a loser, since Glarkware doesn't make TWoP jammies. Frink: "Bartlet's hair is perfect, even in bed. That's some Presidential-level gel." Toby explains who it is. Jed: "If they're not giving you enough to do down there...." Toby: "I know this sounds crazy, but I think we have two weeks...a two-week window...I need to see you alone right now, because if I'm right about this...." Jed replies: "Toby, I'm a somewhat happily married man...." No, he doesn't; he says he doesn't know what Toby's on about. Toby: "I think I know how we can save Social Security." If the plan starts with "kill all the politicians," I'm listening. Credits.
6:15 AM. I think they're in the study in the Residence. Jed's in his robe, glancing at the morning papers as Toby says he thinks Gaines is leaving the Senate, because he's not raising money. He adds, "Because he was the only Republican to stand up and applaud a minimum wage hike at the State of the Union. Gaines, breaking rank, over the AFL-CIO's top issue." Jed: "You think he'll announce his retirement?" Toby says that the Illinois GOP dinner is in two weeks: "If I'm right, he'll announce his intentions there; always has." Toby explains that Gaines has been a leader on this issue for decades, and that he chairs the Social Security Subcommittee: "Get him and a leading Democrat to agree on a fix, bring the House guys along, before anyone knows he's a lame duck. This just might be the break we need." Jed: "To save Social Security?" Toby confirms this. Jed: "This is right after we colonize Ontario?" Shout-out? Maybe. I'll stick my neck out here and speak on behalf of Ontarians: we're not really interested in being the fifty-first state, thanks. You might be able to convince Toronto, though. ["If it means we get more Lean Cuisine options at Dominion as I can find at Wegman's, I'm willing to hear arguments." -- Wing Chun] Toby wants to talk about reality: "More college kids think they'll see UFOs than Social Security cheques." Jed: "But they don't tell you how many believe in UFOs; that's the number we ought to be worried about." Toby says that the number of retirees is going to double, and if they don't do something, the trust fund will go broke. Jed: "One Senator's retirement means we can save it?" Toby's all gung ho about Gaines. Jed says that Republicans will want to divert a chunk of Social Security into private investment: "Think Democrats will go along with that?" Toby: "I'm not saying there aren't sticking points." Jed: "More like Krazy Glue. Think Republicans'll raise payroll taxes?" Toby thinks it has to be discussed. Toby doesn't really have all the details worked out. This is really a pretty flimsy and uninspired plan so far. Jed: "'Cause you can't save Social Security without cutting benefits or raising taxes, and this is the largest meeting in Washington where anyone's ever admitted it."