Back at the Veep meeting, Larry or Ed points out that nobody knew Eisenhower's party until he ran. Ed or Larry brings up Ulysses S. Grant as having only voted once in his lifetime for somebody from the other party. C.J. says that Grant can be used as an example of just about anything. Leo joins the meeting, finally, causing Josh to suggest that they consider Leo to replace Hoynes. Leo thinks it's absurd. They all bicker about it and whether or not Josh just wants Leo's parking space. C.J. points out that it could be a good idea to consider Leo, if it weren't for Leo's past problems with alcohol and Valium. But then she points out Grant as an example of a leader who was a boozer. And also, Congress is just full of boozers, and nobody really seems to care much. That's my little addition to the debate. Leo asks them if they think an alcoholic couldn't be vice-president, or that there hasn't been an alcoholic already in that position during the twentieth century. He tells them he'll be around and leaves the gathering. Everybody looks like they realize they might have been just a bit insensitive to Leo.
Leo heads to his office, stopping to check his messages with Margaret. Josh comes after him to tell him that nobody really meant anything nasty about Leo in the discussion. Leo dismissively tells him that he wasn't bothered at all. They head into Leo's office and chat about Elk Horn. They're still considering whether to evacuate. Nothing here is particularly compelling or new, so I'll breeze over it. They're both worried about widespread panic if they have to evacuate the town. Josh just kind of stands there as Leo sits at his desk. Leo: "Anything else?" Josh: "I don't want to go back to my meeting." Leo: "Well, you're not staying here." Heh. Josh heads back. Leo looks thoughtful.
Sam and Hoynes are trying to hammer out a compromise of some sort in order to save the fund to help the rural poor find porn and play Scrabble online. Hoynes suggests actually beefing up the bill so that everybody gets more money, but Sam points out that both sides are currently in "deficit hawk" mode. Hoynes throws out some more suggestions and asks what the committee wants. Sam finally tells Hoynes that they want his name off the bill. Sam explains that they love the bill because it would give them good press in an election year, and that it would pass unanimously from committee if Hoynes took his name off. Hoynes says, "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?" No, wait, that was me. How long did Sam let Hoynes blather on before telling him what they wanted? Hoynes says, "I like what Daniel Webster said when the Whig Party offered him vice-president: 'I do not propose to be buried, until I am dead.' I used to be every Republican's favorite Democrat." Could you readers do me a favor? When you get a chance, go into your kitchen and pull out any old, yucky food you had planned to throw away. Instead, pack the food into a cardboard box, address it to NBC's promo department, and bring it to your local post office to ship off. Actually, don't. They'll probably accuse it of being some sort of terrorist attack. Just try to visualize in your head hundreds of boxes of rotting food showing up at these idiots' offices. Feels so good. Anyway, Hoynes runs his fingers through his hair in exasperation, sits down, and tells Sam to take his name off the bill, saving the funding to give rural folks access to the internet. Now you know why you're always getting emails from those horny farm-girls.