West Wing
Take Out The Trash Day

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Take Out The Trash Day

Sam steps into Toby's office with this conversational starter: "There's a town in Alabama that wants to abolish all laws except the Ten Commandments." Toby already knows, because Toby knows everything. Sam says, "Some of those Commandments are going to be pretty hard to enforce." Toby seems uninterested in this topic, and asks what Sam wants. Sam says that he's been asked to comment on a story that will be in tomorrow's Georgetown Hoya. That's Georgetown University's newspaper, which I guess might be common knowledge, but I wouldn't know that if I didn't leave near D.C., so consider this your educational tidbit for the day. And before you ask, no one knows what the hell a "Hoya" is. Sam explains that "A sociology professor has been teaching what the paper, at any rate, feels is racist stuff. Too much funding for Head Start, welfare mothers, and --" When Toby wonders why this is a White House issue, Sam explains that Zoey is in the class. Toby summarizes, "The President's daughter got an idiot sociology teacher, and we've gotta..." Sam says he'll talk to Zoey. Toby turns back to his laptop, but then realizes Sam is still lurking in the doorway.

Toby: What else?
Sam: Coveting thy neighbor's wife, for example. How are you gonna enforce that one?
Toby: Sam!
Sam: We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
Toby: What chats?
Sam: Our late night chats!
Toby: Did we ever do that?
Sam: ...No.

Hey Sam, what about coveting thy boss's daughter? Anyway, Leo rescues Toby by interrupting to ask him and Sam to come to his office. As they follow him through the hallway labyrinth, Sam asks if Leo knows about the potential Ten Commandments legislation in Alabama. Leo does. Sam asks for Leo's thoughts on the matter. Leo says, "Coveting thy neighbor's wife is going to cause some problems." "That's what I said," Sam says, puckering up. "Plus, if I were arrested for coveting my neighbor's wife, when asked about it, I'd probably bear false witness." I just know that Sam spent all afternoon thinking up that line, and ever since he's been roaming the halls trying to get someone to set up his quip.

In Leo's office, Josh is chiseling a new, eleventh commandment ("Thou shalt not make speculative movies about Lennon/McCartney reunions") into his hamburger. Leo enters, with Toby and Sam trailing behind him, and declares, "Josh, this Sex Ed report could not possibly come at a worse time!" Toby points out that Josh didn't write the report. Leo says that they'll have to deal with the report tomorrow, and asks, "What's this thing on the Hill?" Josh says, "Sam and me [sic], we're meeting with Bruno from an appropriations sub-committee that has jurisdiction over the White House budget." Leo asks, "Is this about me?" Josh says, "Technically, it's about me. They want to know why I withheld information gained during Inspector Javert's drug search." Toby declares that "it was absolutely the right thing to do under the circumstances." Wow, thank you for sharing, Toby. Leo awkwardly thanks Josh and Sam for their support, and Josh and Sam do the embarrassed squinting and looking at the floor which is the guy version of saying "you're welcome."

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West Wing

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