West Wing
The Black Vera Wang

Episode Report Card
Shack: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Never Look a Gift Moose in the Mouth

Elsewhere, C.J. heads into her office while giving Special Agent Simon Donovan a firm "No!" like he's a dog who piddled on the carpet. C.J. insists that she's driving herself home and complains about Simon annoying her for the past six days with his strong and silent presence, calling her "Ma'am" and "Ms. Cregg." She wants him to stop because "this isn't a Western." No, apparently this is a madcap '50s romantic comedy. Simon insists that he's required to use such formalities when speaking to her. I had no idea Miss Manners worked for the Treasury. C.J. rants further: "I'm getting in my baby blue '65 Mustang convertible, and I'm going to feel the wind in my hair and anyplace else I want. You can look at my taillights." Simon: "I think I'm not allowed to do that either." Gah. They're getting TMI all over the place. C.J. says she'll see him at home, and stalks off. Simon says "okay," and just stands there in her office. After a few moments, C.J. comes back to find out what the punch line of this scene is. She knows that Simon isn't just going to let her wander off. She's right. Simon holds up a hand to show that he's got one of her spark plugs. He also removed her battery. And her fuel pump. And various other vehicular internal organs, thus thwarting her from driving home, and also from chasing after the von Trapps. She asks if there's anything left to her car. Simon jokes that he left her some wiper fluid, but then realizes that she can't even use that without the battery. Just kiss already.

Sam interrupts C.J. and Simon's "witty" "repartee" to show C.J. what's on the anonymous tape. It's an opposition ad attacking POTUS. He pops it into her office VCR and plays it. An image of the White House pops up on the television as a sinister male voice says, "Honor, morality, truth. Values we deserve in America's house." The image of the White House rips in half (with an accompanying sound effect), and a picture of Bartlet looking stern and unpleasant appears onscreen. The voice says, "Throwing mud to cover up his failure. Refusing to sign a clean campaign pledge, so he won't have to defend his broken promises." Headlines about cover-ups and dirty campaigning appear and disappear at appropriate points. Bartlet's face expands so that his eyes fill up the whole screen. The man says, "Jed Bartlet: What's he hiding from us now?" C.J. asks who sent Sam the video. Sam doesn't know.

Credits. Those of you concerned about my misspelling names and locations mentioned in the show (and I know there's a precedent) will be happy to read that I got my closed captioning working properly. Actually, I didn't do anything. It just started working by itself. Normally, when I try to use captioning, it insists that people are saying things like "G%rc@$" and "]]]]]]]7]," and I'm pretty certain dialogue like that doesn't appear on any show, except perhaps for Roswell. But I just flipped it on and now it's working fine. Strange.

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West Wing

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