West Wing
The Crackpots And These Women

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The Crackpots And These Women

Set your VCRs now: in two weeks NBC is showing The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns.

Back at the White House, they're having a practice press conference. Mandy suggests that the Prez should try "to not answer [sic] that question like an economics professor with a big ol' stick up his butt." After covering the economy, Toby says they should move to the topic of guns. The Prez says they don't need to, because he's all set. When Toby insists, the Prez asks, "Is it time for my 10 AM scolding?" Apparently so. Sam asks, as a sample question, if the weapons ban that was just passed will reduce crime. The Prez answers, "Yes. Next question." Toby asks the Prez why he would blow off that question, and the Prez says, "Because I'm weak-willed and stupid." I guess that makes sense. Toby says they discussed this issue a few days ago, and the Prez says that since then he's talked it over with other people. Toby, sounding a bit paranoid, asks "Which other people?" The Prez answers, "I have lots of other people," in a tone that made me giggle.

Toby is still chewing out the Prez in the distance as we cut to still-dazed Josh, leaning in a doorway as C.J. walks in and tries to bring him back to our plane of reality. Mrs. Landingham comes over and C.J. asks "Where are we in the saga of Toby and the President?" Mrs. L. suggests that they are having a disagreement, and C.J. asks "A disagreement or a fight?" Before Mrs. L. can answer, we hear the Prez shouting, "Oh, for god's sake, Toby!" C.J. wakes Josh up again and they go into the press room.

We finally learn what the argument is actually about! Toby is asking why the Prez can't admit that the weapons bill they passed has some weaknesses. Mandy points out that if they do that, "It'll infuriate the left, it'll energize the right, and everyone in the middle's gonna feel like they just got yanked around." The Prez offers, "My answer was gonna be, 'Because I said so,' but you did pretty good." Toby and the Prez snipe at each other some more, than Sam interrupts to announce, "my first cheese appointment is here." Sam asks if he can skip the appointment so that they can continue to prepare for the press conference. Leo says no. Sam says, "I think this press conference is about our future." The Prez mumbles through a mouthful of doughnut, "I think this press conference is about we haven't had a press conference in a while." Leo shoos Sam away.

Sam greets his crackpot o' the day, Bob, from "United States Space Command." While Sam makes the obligatory nerd jokes, I'll scope out his office. He's got two super-comfy looking chairs for visitors, a poster of Muhammad Ali and another for Amnesty International, and a Department of Justice baseball cap on a shelf behind his desk. Sam asks what Bob would like. "In a nutshell?" asks Bob. "So to speak," agrees Sam. Bob wants the White House to pay more attention to UFOs, and clarifies that "more" actually translates as "any." Sam says, "Like we don't have enough trouble with the First Lady and her ouija board." Bob hands Sam a big book that United States Space Command has made about UFOs and asks him to give it to the President. Sam says he's not going to do that, "because the President will either yell at me or laugh at me. Either way, it won't work out well for me." Then Bob mentions that something has been picked up on radar heading East from the Pacific, but Sam insists that it would be inappropriate to pass information directly from a radar officer to the Commander-In-Chief without going through the proper channels. Then Sam presents Bob with a White House pen. This scene is just begging for an X-Files reference.

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West Wing

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