West Wing
The Dogs Of War

Episode Report Card
admin: D+ | 2 USERS: A-
I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream

Josh starts talking to Amy again as she apologizes for waking him up. As he opens his office door, he claims that he already went for a run. Naturally, she's standing there, talking to him on her phone. Amy, warmly and flirtatiously: "Nice track suit." Ew. Not these two again. It was tedious the first time around. What makes John Wells think it's going to go any better this time? ["The same perversity that makes him think Abby and Carter have white-hot chemistry?" -- Wing Chun] Amy actually looks very pretty here. She says Josh could have told her she woke him: "I wouldn't have thought less of you." She enters, and he says, "Sleeping is...lacks a certain masculine...whatever." Amy: "Your virility is tied to exhaustion?" Josh offers coffee; she brought some. Has Josh always had a coffee machine right in his office? I thought it was outside, near Donna's cubicle. Amy: "It's been a while, but I don't remember fatigue improving your..." Please, let's not have commentary on their sex life. He asks if she wants to go get something to eat in the Mess, but she's already brought food. Face it, Josh. There's no escape. She's thought of everything. Including what I thought was a pushup bra, but then someone on the forums reminded me that Mary-Louise Parker is pregnant. I guess that's why she looks less angular than usual. Josh wonders whether Amy has a freshly ironed shirt and a shower in her bag. How about a klieg light? You can't see squat on this show. Josh looks at the coffee Amy's brought him and asks, "Black?" At first, I think she says it's soy chai or whatever thing he drinks. First of all, Josh does not drink soy chai. Second, if he did, wouldn't he recognize it? I checked the closed captioning and what she says is that "that soy chai or whatever thing you drink is affecting your already addled brain." Whatever. To summarize: Josh does not drink soy chai. No, don't even try to spin that.

Amy asks Josh to stop staring at the TV and start staring at her newly puffy boobies. He asks if there's anything on Zoey. Apparently, the fatigue and soy chai have rendered him immune to her charms, such as they are. She asks whether he's seen the morning papers, and tells him they have a new Speaker: it's Haffley. Josh: "Oh, God, Haffley? He'll be passing out pelts and slabs of bison in the cloakroom." Amy says that apparently the GOP leadership is resuming its committee schedule tomorrow, whether Zoey's back or not. Josh: "Aside from adding to our nation's greenhouse gas problem, those committee hearings are meaningless." Amy has more good news: rumour has it that Steve Atwood has arranged for Walken to meet with Republicans today, minus any Democrats. Amy's trying to get Josh stirred up about the machinations of the current POTUS and his staff, but Josh is fixated on Haffley. Amy says that the Republicans are going to start legislating: "Partial birth, federal funding for family planning clinics..." Josh says that if Walken does anything by executive order, the Democrats will overturn it when Bartlet assumes office again. Amy: "A cheering thought to the women whose lives are ruined in the meantime." Josh admits they don't know when they'll be back. Amy: "If Walken's holding partisan pep rallies in the West Wing, leak it." Amy's phone or pager beeps, she reads the message on the screen and says, "Oh, God," and then turns to look at the TV, where viewers are being advised to stay tuned for breaking news from the White House.

Toby and Andi are at the hospital in some sort of bright yellow general waiting area, each holding one of the twins. I wouldn't think they'd have parents and their newborns hanging out in a common area, what with the germphobia that usually attends situations involving infants. Andi tells Toby, "You look good with a baby in your arms." Toby says that, actually, his arm's asleep. He gets up and walks around with Huck. Andi apologizes for what she said on Saturday. She says it's a beautiful house. I thought she was apologizing for all the hurtful things she said, not for rejecting the dream house. Toby wants her to have it anyway, for the kids. He doesn't want it. Which means I get it. Yay! He says she can't raise twins in a one-bedroom condo. Yeah, that's a really substandard upbringing. Andi softly says that she found a house on D Street. I guess she didn't get around to telling him that on Saturday, because obviously, she didn't do it after her water broke. Toby just looks resigned. Andi glances at the TV and asks, "Has something happened?" Why, yes! The voices and personalities of all the characters on this show have been abducted. Alert the FBI. Toby walks over to the TV where other patients are watching C.J. hold a press briefing.

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West Wing




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