West Wing
The Dogs Of War

Episode Report Card
Deborah: D+ | 2 USERS: A-
I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream

Debbie is handed a large manila envelope at her desk. She opens it and takes the document in to Walken, who's on the phone making a condolence call to the parents of one of the men killed in action in Qumar. He's sitting down. Is he not aware he should be making those calls standing up? He hangs up and kind of looks away while Debbie stands there. Then he asks her, "How many more?" There are two. He pauses and then asks, "When do I get to the fun part of being President, Debbie?" She asks, "The fun part, sir?" He explains: "Yeah, flying around on Air Force One, getting a good tee time at Hilton Head..." The first two times I saw this, I heard "tea time." If it weren't for the closed captioning, I would still be thinking he was a fan of high tea. Never heard of Hilton Head, either. Thought he was talking about a fancy hotel. Sports, boy, I don't know. Debbie doubts he'll have much trouble getting good tee times. Walken comments, "This is a weird-looking room." Debbie replies, "Truman called it 'the crown jewel of the federal penal system.'" Ha! What does it say when the funniest line in the show is a quotation from a dead president? Walken grins and asks, "You a Truman fan?" She is. Walken: "Me, too." Debbie: "I would have taken you for an Eisenhower man, sir." Indeed. Explains his dog's name. Walken claims that if Truman were alive today, he'd be a Republican. Debbie doubts that very much. Walken: "You know, it's funny, this was never an ambition of mine." Sure thing. And if you believe that, I've got several unneeded gym socks I can let you have real cheap. They've only ever hung over one shower rod. Debbie replies, "Neither did Mr. Truman." Debbie says she'll start another call. Walken thanks her. Well, that at least sounded like it might have something to do with the show we've been watching for the last four years. Walken sighs as Debbie leaves.

We see Atwood walking through the halls. Josh manages to locate him, like the Republican weasel-seeking missile that he is. Sweet fancy Moses, he's following him into the john. Me to Frink: "That is so ER." Frink totally agrees. It's also fairly NYPD Blue. What it is not, is The West Wing. Four years of this show, and I can't recall ever, ever seeing the inside of a bathroom for any reason. I might be forgetting something, because frankly it's all turning into a blur at this point. But it can't be long before people are getting it on in janitor's closets and having technicolour meltdowns while their co-workers chew the scenery or conversely, stand around doing jack. Even if we have seen a bathroom on The West Wing before, I doubt it was a scene where one character stalked another one in there to confront that person. The height of class, no? It's a very swanky bathroom, though. You can tell the set designers have had their elegant little paws all over it.

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West Wing




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