West Wing
The Drop In

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Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary

Donna and Josh continue pedeconferencing. Well, if you can call Donna rattling on about her desperate singlehood a "conference." Donna says, "And I was thinking, when Marbury gets here, you can encourage him to introduce me to any royal and single men he might now." Josh replies, That's a good idea. I'm going to do that." Donna: "You're not really, though, are you?" Josh: "No."

In the Oval Office, it's time for Peter Hans of Sweden to receive his secret decoder ring. His wife and kids are there too. They're still in the small-talk phase, and POTUS is mentioning that he doesn't think most people realize the Swedes have lived in Sweden for more than five thousand years longer than any other European people. Mr. Hans confirms this, and Jed adds, "In fact, Gothic tribes from Sweden played a major role in the disintegration of the Roman Empire, did they not?" What did they do, surround the Romans in their forts and blast Krokus until they begged for mercy? Jed teases him that they've got that to answer for; Mr. Hans pleasantly agrees. Again, what else is the poor guy going to do? As Leo slips in quietly, The Chief of Protocol finally presents Hans to POTUS; they go through all the routine as before and then he's officially an Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary. The way Martin Sheen says it though, it sounds like "Plentipotentiary." It's an understandable slip.

Then it's time for pictures and everybody gets into place as flashbulbs pop. Leo congratulates Ambassador Hans and asks, "Is he still holding you responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire?" Hans says, "Oh, yes." Leo: "Welcome to my world." He says he'll see him at the reception later, and the Chief of Protocol hustles the Hans family off. Jed says to Leo, "Sweden has a one hundred percent literacy rate, Leo. A hundred percent! How do they do that?" Leo responds, "Well, maybe they don't and they also can't count." Frink finds this hilarious. Still, I believe they do and I am very impressed. That's me, the sort of girl who's much more impressed with literacy rates than a big GDP. Jed says, "Maybe." Leo then launches into his "nine of ten things went right" spiel. Jed asks, "The tenth being?" Leo: "They missed the target." Jed counters, "Damn! That tenth one. See, if there were just nine..." Leo's not in a joking mood. He says, "Look, the tracking software on the KM vehicle clearly acquired a read on both the target and the decoy. And for the first time ever, successfully rendered a clean identification differential." Jed asks, "Leo, seriously, when they were telling you that on the phone, how stupid did you think you'd sound saying it to me?" Leo says that the project needs money; Jed claims that it doesn't work. Leo goes for the jugular: "Neither did several phases of Apollo 11, but Neil Armstrong claims it was a success." Jed: "Do we need to decide this right now?" Leo says no. Leo moves on to the GDC speech, and explains that since the CARE initiative is exactly what they want, Toby wants them to signal their independence as well. Leo explains the drop-in admonishment and mentions the ski resort/lynx incident. Jed asks, "And we can't take it for granted that everyone pretty much fundamentally opposes arson?" Leo reminds Jed that a year and a half ago he ripped a strip off religious leader Al Caldwell because the fundamentalists hadn't publicly admonished religious extremists. Jed says, without a trace of irony or sarcasm, "It would be hypocrisy not to hold our friends to the same standard, and yet it feels strange to score political points by doing the right thing. I'm a victim to [sic] my own purity of character." Leo replies, "Whatever. We'll get you some information on the lynx, which is a kind of possum, I think." Jed counters, "Well, it's not a kind of a possum, so why don't you get me that information? Toby doesn't want it in the speech?" Leo confirms that it's just a drop-in. Jed asks if Leo heard about Marbury. Jed: "Isn't it great?" Leo replies, "Yes, sir. And I assume you're enjoying my suffering?" Jed: "Absolutely." As Leo leaves and Charlie comes in, Jed calls out after Leo, "Two thousand environmentalists are going to try to kill me tomorrow night!" He tells Charlie, "They're going to come after me with vegan food and pitchforks." Charlie remarks, "That doesn't really sound like something people do." Jed states, "Still, I'd like you to get between me and any boiled seaweed you see coming my way."

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West Wing

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