BHL wants to know how she can help. Jed begins, "Stuffing should be stuffed inside a turkey, am I correct?" BHL says it can also be baked in a casserole dish. Jed thinks it would have to be called something else in that event. He asks, "If I cook it inside the turkey, is there a chance I could kill my guests? I'm not saying that's necessarily a deal-breaker." She explains that there are some concerns, and that the two main bacterial problems are Salmonella and Campylobacter jejuna. Jed affably says, "All right. Well, first of all, I think you made the second bacteria up. And second of all, how do I avoid it?" BHL tells him to make sure all the ingredients are cooked first: sauté vegetables, fry any sausage or oysters, etc. He says, "Excellent! Let's talk temperature." BHL: "One hundred sixty-five degrees." Jed says, "Noooo. See, I was testing you: The USDA calls for turkeys to be cooked to an internal temperature of 180-185°." BHL was talking about the stuffing. Burn! (Or, perhaps not.) Jed says, "Okay, good testing!" BHL asks if he has an accurate thermometer. He assures her he does: "It was presented to me as a gift from the personal sous chef to the King of..." Toby waves at him to remind him to be Joe Bethersonton. Jed weakly concludes, "...auto sales in..." He gropes. Toby whispers, "Fargo." Jed says, "...Fargo. Phil Baharnd...the man can sell a car like...well, like anything." BHL wishes him a good Thanksgiving, Jed does likewise for her, and he hangs up the phone. Jed tells Toby and Charlie: "That was excellent! We should do that once a week." I amuse myself by imagining that they really called the Butterball Hotline and did that in one take without explaining it to the BHL. Then I think of all the other hotlines they could call. It could be a regular segment: "Yo! POTUS Pranks." Toby asks the question in all our minds: "'Phil Baharnd'?" Jed admits that he has to get better at the names. Charlie asks whether Jed is ready to start the weekend. Jed says there's one last thing: "Today, we find the traitor in my family." He grabs his briefcase and instructs Charlie, "I know the First Lady doesn't like to schlep, but would you please tell her to meet me in the Residence?" He leaves without saying "Happy Thanksgiving" to Toby, which makes me kind of sad; even BHL got that much. Time for commercials.