West Wing
West Wing

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B- | 758 USERS: C+
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Lame Duck Soup

After the commercials, it's 8:25 PM and Bonnie is leading a tour group around the White House. I guess the assistants have to take turns doing this, or something. Anyway, Toby bursts in and rants to the crowd at large, "Whole damn world's flying apart at the Equator. You know that, Bonnie?" She introduces him to the tourists as her boss. Oblivious, Toby rants on: "Why's the Test Ban Treaty so important? Let me tell ya: in 1974, India set off a peaceful nuclear explosion. Indira Gandhi herself said that they had no intention of building a bomb, they just wanted to know that they could! Twenty years later, India sets off five nuclear explosions. Who gets nervous? Pakistan! When Pakistan gets nervous, everybody gets nervous! You know why? 'Cause we're all gonna die!" All accented with some hysterical laughter and sweeping arm gestures. With that, he wanders out again, leaving the tourists with a good story to tell the folks back home about the crazy guy they saw at the White House. ["Is Toby an alcoholic, maybe? They show him in bars more often than they show anyone else. I hope he's not. That would be so After-School Special." -- Wing Chun]

Sam and Ainsley are still arguing in his office. At some point, Ainsley mentions that they've been arguing for an hour and a half, which means it was at least seven in the evening when they returned earlier. No way would it not have been dark at that time, this late in the year. Maybe Washington has Daylight Spending Time, or something. (I would apologize for nitpicking, but I believe it's actually in my job description here. ["It is." -- Wing Chun]) Anyway, they're arguing about Sam's position paper, which was on employee fraud. She mentions that one third of all small businesses fail due to employee fraud. That sounds extraordinarily high to me, and since many small businesses are sole proprietorships, does that mean people are bilking themselves? Who knows? Anyway, Sam is not really participating in the argument, just restating that Ainsley reversed his position. He adds that he can't believe he's listening to a Republican tell him that the government should run background checks and impede business: "In fact, I can't believe I'm listening to a Republican." Sam then makes what looks to me like a fairly groundless accusation of racism (and I'm no slouch at seeing racism): "Could it possibly be that most of the people you want to fingerprint have darker skin than you do?" Well, Ainsley's pretty pale, so even if the great majority of the world's population were not already non-Caucasians, this would be true. She retorts, "Well, not to let the facts interfere with a good story, but eighty percent of violators are white. Fraudulent employees are three times more likely to be married, they're four times more likely to be men, sixteen times more likely to be managers and executives, and guess what, Professor? They're five times more likely to have postgraduate degrees." Sam stutters and mumbles a bit and tells her to start from the beginning. She wants to know if he's going to eat he doughnut on his desk. He tells her to take it. Tapeworm? Bulimia? Who knows?

West Wing

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