West Wing
The Two Bartlets

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How Now, Butter Cow?

When Amy gets back there, she asks if Josh heard the whole thing. He says, "I heard you overthrow the government." She says, "That's always money in the bank." She's wearing glasses and her hair is covering so much of her face that you can hardly see her expression. Josh says, "Tell me about it." She asks the other people in the room to let her have the room for a minute. They oblige. Josh asks, "Is there someone who can take care of Henry?" I wonder whether Henry's a kid, a goldfish, a cat, a dog, or a ferret. Amy takes off her glasses, looking surprised by the question. She asks, "What do you have against Henry?" Josh says, "Nothing. I...love Henry. Is there someone who takes care of him when you go away?" She leaves him with her sister. Josh wonders what she thinks about going away for a few days. She asks where. Josh: "Tahiti. Or Paris. Venice. We can go to EPCOT if you want." Amy looks pleasantly charmed by this turn of events. "Tahiti?" He spells it out: "Lie on the beach, dance at night, little reggae, UB-40." Amy points out that reggae is Caribbean music. Josh asks, "They don't have reggae in Tahiti?" Perhaps they do, at Club Clueless Traveller. With her back to him briefly, Amy says, "I think we should find out." Naturally, Josh doesn't hear her, so as she turns around with her bottle of water, she repeats her statement. Josh suggests the day after tomorrow. She blithely agrees. Excuse me: these two high-powered politicos can clear their schedules just like that? I couldn't clear my schedule for the day after tomorrow if you offered me a one-way ticket to Fiji out of this snowy hellhole. (Okay, "hellhole" might be a bit strong.) And all I have to do the day after tomorrow is go to a decorator fabric store, get groceries for Sunday's visitors, visit my in-laws and then my in-laws' in-laws, and then stop at Home Depot for about fourteen hours before coming back home. But it'd be a bitch to reschedule. Anyway, Josh says -- semi-threateningly, as if to give her a chance to back out -- "I'm buying plane tickets right now...I'm making reservations." Amy: "Go!" He says he's going. She says, "You're not going fast enough!" Josh: "I'm saying, when I walk out that door, I'm buying plane tickets." She replies,"I'm saying, when I walk out that door, I'm buying new bikinis." Josh grins: "I'm going fast now." Amy gives a big smile and wiggles her eyebrows.

In Iowa now, Bartlet's inside a building on what is probably the aforementioned college campus. Toby's outside, puffing on a filthy cigar, watching Jed at the podium on a monitor inside a van. He answers a question about water resources, then takes a question about Governor Ritchie's stance on affirmative action. Jed's comment: "I think that now that we've abolished discrimination in our laws we need to abolish it in our hearts and minds." What a non-answer. Even more of a non-answer than what Toby read on the plane. The reporter tries to get more out of him, but Jed ends the question session. Toby sighs and rubs his forehead, looking pained. And it's commercial time. Please, please don't show the Viagra one again. They don't. Thank you, God.

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West Wing

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