West Wing
The Two Bartlets

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How Now, Butter Cow?

After the commercials -- one of which included an incredibly long and annoying one for Viagra that features this dude prancing and cartwheeling all over town to the tune of that "Good morning, good mo-o-o-o-o-o-rning," song, which is so irritating that it makes me want to slit somebody's throat -- it's 6:26 AM. Josh is in his office having a little confab with Sam. Sam asks what's going on; Josh says he's waiting for a phone call. Sam meant in Vieques. Josh says, "Billy Molina and some people ran the Coast Guard line." He explains the rest of what Leo told him. Sam asks, "So they're hooking you up with Billy?" Josh sighs. "It's a strange day when I'm involved with national security." Sam: "I was just thinking the same thing." Josh: "You know what else? Tandy asked Amy to marry him." Sam seems very surprised: "Seriously?" Josh tells him she said no. Sam seems to think that was the right decision. Josh comments, with a fairly smug and self-satisfied look, "That happened fast, don't you think?" Sam: "No, no. Don't do this." Josh: "What?" Sam: "I-I recognize this." Josh: "As what?" Sam says that Amy didn't break up with Tandy for Josh: "I guarantee it. She is a fully independent woman. She's the real thing. Stop looking at her different than you did yesterday." The look on Josh's face fades as he says that he just said it was a little fast. Sam outlines the future: "Next thing that happens, you find a reason to get mad at her." Josh denies this. Sam insists, "Guys like you? I'm one of them." Hmm...I doubt that. Donna comes in to say they've got Billy on the phone. He picks up the phone and first of all wants to know if everybody's okay, or whether anyone's hurt.

Toby's reading aloud on Air Force One: "'The American Dream is opportunity. And together we must give every child the chance to reach for his or her dream. This is why we must ensure the opportunity is real, that the dream is neither deferred nor denied, that hope is not a privilege for the few....'" Little shout-out to Langston Hughes there. Toby trails off and asks, "This is Sam's?" POTUS says he reworked it. Toby continues, "'...but a promise for all generations to follow...' Sir, I've read it twice and I don't even know where you stand on affirmative action." Jed: "Yeah, I was trying to avoid a quote." Toby: "As well as nouns and pronouns." Jed, crossing his arms: "It's purposefully nonspecific." Toby says he doesn't know what they're talking about. Jed explains, "We get the word out to our friends that I was obviously nodding in the direction of affirmative action." Way to take a stand. Toby: "How about if we oppose affirmative action, and then get the word out to our friends you were just kidding?" Hee. Jed claims nobody's questioning their position. Toby starts to argue, and Jed firmly states, "I don't want to campaign today!" Toby, calmly undeterred: "What happened to 'writing a new book'?" Jed sighs, "We will, but we don't...man, we don't have to piss people off every day in order to demonstrate that we're not..." Toby doesn't look at Jed, but quietly says, "Yes." Jed, who senses Toby's disappointment in him, offers, "Look, we're going to Iowa, where we already won. I'm not ignoring the state, and I say thank you for getting me elected in the first place, and we're back on the plane. And I'll tell you what else, I don't think it's a good idea for us to be fighting for news coverage with three governors, two senators, and the head of the Church of I Hate You. Let's just get in under the radar!" I briefly wonder about the rites and rituals of the Church of I Hate You. Toby says, "Yes, sir," but you know Toby: he has a way of saying it that conveys his frustration. Jed mutters that he'll say a few words; that's it. Toby thanks him and leaves.

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West Wing




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