West Wing
The Wake Up Call

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Abbey tells Kate that the President needs a break. Kate looks at his schedule and notes some very important meetings coming up with the French and Iranian Ambassadors. Abbey says, "I mean now." Kate says maybe she should check with C.J., and Abbey says, "You can do that. Or you could go back in there and get my husband." Kate says, "Yes, ma'am." I'd be afraid of that hair, too. Commercials.

And, we're back. Lord John is reciting poetry with no shoes on. I'll bet his feet stink. It is 11:45 AM. Kate is annoyed. She answers the phone, and Lord John recites poetry even more loudly. C.J. enters and asks where the President is. Lord John says that he's on recess, and Kate explains that the First Lady wanted him to rest. C.J. says she guesses they can delay the French. Kate starts with "Should I have..." and C.J. snaps, "No." Kate says she wasn't sure what the chain of command was in this situation, and C.J. says that it's fine in a way that indicates it might not actually be fine. C.J. asks Margaret to find out if Leo is in yet.

Back in the Land of Boring, Toby and Doc Brown continue on the Presidential vs. Parliamentary system debate. I wish that the First Lady would come in right now and tell Wing Chun that I need a rest. ["Aw, we all need a rest, lady." -- Wing Chun] The Belarussians want a unifying national figure. Toby argues that a Prime Minister is a unifying national figure, and Yakov Smirnoff says that Prime Minister Grady is weak. Toby says that she's subject to the people's representatives, so she can be ousted if she goes all Whitney Houston "crack is whack" on everybody. Yeah, I kind of wish we could do that, too. Toby says that Belarus needs systemic protection and safeguards to protect future generations from potential bad guys. Just then, Annabeth introduces Toby's 12:30 -- Miss World. Oh, comedic timing.

C.J. tells Charlie to take some of her appointments, and Leo enters. Lord John greets him with an enthusiastic "Gerald!" He says it's been too long, and Leo deadpans, "I don't think it has." Lord John asks if Leo's heard the news about their great tragedy, which might have the "small consolation" of allowing their paths to cross once again. C.J. tells Leo that she hates to pull him into the situation, but that Toby's plate is full, and Josh is gone. She says, "The President's in the residence, The Iranians are in the mural, the French are at the gate, and then there's Maude." And I would give my left earlobe for that line to cue the entrance of one Beatrice Arthur. I would also like to highly recommend that everyone go and download the theme song from Maude, because it is awesome. Leo can't believe that they still let Lord John in the building. Leo asks if they have diplomatic relations with the Iranians. C.J. says that they have Chet, and then adds that Chet is the new Phil. Leo will take the French, C.J. will take Chet, and poor Kate gets to stay and entertain "Lord Flibbertygibbet." And then there's Maude! See, I think that if the most memorable thing about your award-winning hour-long drama is a reference to a '70s sitcom theme song, then you might be in a bit of trouble.

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West Wing

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