West Wing
The War At Home

Episode Report Card
Deborah: A | 1 USERS: A+
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With Friends Like These, Who Needs Anemones?

Sam runs into Leo at this point and asks, "Is he coming?" Leo says, "He's stopping in on his way from the thing." Leo's distracted, reading a document, as they all go into his office. Ainsley stands quietly, trying to gather her nerve and a modicum of dignity. Leo notices her existence and says, "How ya doin', Ainsley?" She responds, "I'm concerned about peeing on your carpet." Apparently, in the House of Atreus, nothing was considered a higher virtue than utter frankness. Leo replies, "Okay. Well, now I am, too." He looks around in vain for a rolled-up newspaper with which to swat her on her cold wet nose in the event of the threatened micturition. Sam says, "Tell her it's going to be fine." Instead, Leo astutely points out: "Your skirt's on backwards." Ainsley asks if she can use his bathroom. Leo says yes. She thanks him and walks into a closet, and Leo tries to stop her, but at that moment POTUS arrives. Jed asks, "Is she here?" Sam says she is. Jed asks, "Well, where is she?" Sam says, "Well, she's in the closet, Mr. President." Jed kind of looks around and asks, "Why?" Sam explains she thought it was the bathroom. Jed asks, "Why is she still in there?" Sam replies, "That's kind of hard to say, sir." Jed: "Why don't we get her out here?" Sam calls to Ainsley, who replies, "Yes?" Jed says, "Ainsley, why don't you come on out of there?" She slips out. Jed says, "How ya doin'? We met last night." They shake hands. "You were singing and dancing in a bathrobe." Ainsley says, "Yes, sir." He asks, "Why were you in the closet." Ainsley, Queen of TMI: "I had to pee." Jed: "They won't let me smoke inside, but you can pee in Leo's closet?" Ainsley starts to say something, but Jed continues, "I appreciate you coming to work for me, Ainsley. You're an exceptionally bright young woman. Is your father proud of you?" Ainsley pauses, smiles modestly and replies, "Yes, sir." Jed: "I'll bet he is." There's a phone call and Leo gives Jed a meaningful nod. Leo indicates to Sam that he should hustle Ainsley on out of there. Thank God for the crisis in Colombia, or Ainsley surely would have found a way to embarrass herself further.

Jed and Leo go into the Oval Office, where Mickey and several of the other Situation Room guys are waiting with grave looks on their faces. Jed asks, "What happened? Did we lose the hostages?" One guy tells him, "The hostages weren't there." Leo, war vet that he is, gets it immediately and says, "Oh, God." Jed doesn't get it though, and asks a couple of times, "What are you talking about?" It turns out that the radio communications they'd been intercepting were wrong. Well, faked, actually. When the Deltas got to the location, it was a dry hole, and one of the two Blackhawks was shot down by a shoulder-mounted surface-to-air missile. Jed starts shaking his head, "No..." He walks to his desk and asks, "How many guys were on the Blackhawk?" There were nine: the pilot, the engineer, and seven Deltas. Jed says, "So I've got nine more guys on the ground now we've got to get back." But you can tell from the look on Leo's face that those guys are coming back in bodybags. Leo starts to explain this but the other guy jumps in and explains that the second Blackhawk recovered the bodies. Jed looks around at everybody and says, "They're dead." He pauses and then says, "I want the President of Colombia on the phone. I want a translator in this room right now."

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West Wing

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