The Whole Truth

Episode Report Card
admin: C | Grade It Now!
All change, she's having a baby

Jack's in the shower, and when he gets out he's startled that Locke is also in the bathroom shaving. Well, might as well just measure them and get it over with, eh guys? Jack snippily asks Locke if he couldn't have waited, but Locke says Jack-shower steam opens up his pores, and since he doesn't have shaving cream (yet the hatch has shampoo and laundry and food and all manner of other amenities -- not to mention I don't remember Desmond having a big ol' Grizzly Adams beard), he has to improvise. Locke doesn't actually say that the steam needs to come from Jack's shower, but I'm extrapolating, because otherwise why wouldn't Locke just shave during his own shower? Locke also thinks this is a good time to talk about their little problem. Jack, unlike any doctor worth his degree when confronted in a locker room, doesn't tell Locke to make an appointment. Locke points out that Henry ain't exactly "motivated" to talk to them, which is some kind of casual indictment of torture as an information-gathering technique, and he wants to bring in "new blood": specifically, Ana-Lucia. "Why her?" says Jack, like maybe Claire or Charlie would prove better interrogators than a cop. Locke points out that Ana's the one Jack went to to help him form an army. ["And thank goodness we've seen that plot point develzzzz*#(@." -- Sars] Jack gives his blessing to this arrangement and says he'll talk to Ana-Lucia. Not so fast; Locke already has, and she's in the armoury right now talking to Henry. Jack doesn't say anything, what with his genitalia being sucked back into his pubic cavity and all.

But Ana-Lucia's not in the armoury talking to Gale; it's this soft-spoken woman who isn't sneering at everything. Oh, hold up…sorry. Anyway, he's asking her questions about arriving on the island instead of the other way around, so I guess she's a complete bust as an interrogator. When he makes a sarcastic comment about how fun it must have been to walk all the way from the other side of the island, Ana smiles and says, "It had its moments," like despite the death and paranoia and just general trauma, she still thinks of it like a nature hike one summer when she was a teenager at Camp Cucamonga. She asks Henry to tell her his story, and he starts listing everyone who's heard it, and he knows everyone's name but "the big black guy who cut off his beard in front of" him. Ana-Lucia's quite surprised (nice poker face there, officer) at his mention of Eko and Sayid, since she didn't know those two knew. "So why don't you try me," she says pleasantly. He wants to know why she'd help him. So she gives the Coles Notes version of the story of the Peace Corpse, which unsurprisingly isn't doing much to put Henry at ease. "I was wrong. And now he's dead." Henry looks away, like, "Can I get the big black guy back in here?" But good news! She doesn't make the same mistake twice, she says. So how about you tell me your story, she says.

On the beach, someone's reading a well-worn copy of Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, inspiration for many a TWoP-recap title (almost as many as Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun" have inspired for me). If an upcoming scene is anything to go by, I've reserved Superfudge for the next Hurley-centric episode. Haven't read Are You There, God? myself. I read Blubber, and was quite fascinated by the children whose parents let them swear. Anyway, the book is dropped to reveal Sawyer in his big ol' Harry Caray glasses, and this is where the laugh track would kick in, if there were one, and if this were actually funny. Sun asks him how the book is, and he says "predictable," and all I can say is "ahem" to that. He also says there's "not enough sex," and Sun's eyebrows crinkle imperceptibly, all, "God, what a douchebag."

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