The Wire
The Wire

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: B+ | 1320 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
"There's Never Been A Paper Bag"

Marlo is shopping for rims, which calls to mind that Chris Rock routine on rims from Bring The Pain. Go ahead and look it up -- I'll wait. Anyhow, Marlo's not here just to idly shop; it appears the rim shop owner is his consigliere, and Marlo wants advice on how to handle Bodie's crew. The rim-shop owner version of Tom Hagen correctly surmises that the newcomers are likely from the Terrace, which means they're affiliated with Avon Barksdale. "And Avon, he coming home, too," the rim-shop owner notes pointedly. The choices, then, are these: reach an amicable agreement, or prepare to deal with a well-armed, well-motivated opponent. "If you want to hold on to what's yours," the consigliere advises, "you best be ready." Marlo nods ominously.

Bunk and McNulty are off-duty and...you know what? Let's make this a fun, interactive, multiple choice quiz that you can play at home. Are Bunk and McNulty spending their off time: (a) With their families? (b) In quiet contemplation of the world at large and their place in it? (c) Catching up on some books they've been longing to read? (d) Having a drink or three or four in a local tavern? Think you know the answer? Have you made your choice? Let's see if you made the right call.

It's (d) of course. It's always (d). Bonus points if you silently added "and they're talking about the job, too" to your answer. Because that's' what they're doing -- McNulty is relating the tale of poor, unfortunate D'Angelo Barksdale and how he supposedly committed suicide in prison. "I don't know," says Bunk. "Men of color usually don't do themselves. I mean, take me for instance." "Yeah, I mean, you got all the reason in the world," McNulty says, playing along. "And yet here I am," Bunk says. "Still standing." Not if you keep quaffing spirits at that rate, you won't be. Anyhow, McNulty's been unable to look at the crime scene photos, because the state police did a half-assed job on the investigation. Hey, speaking of asses, McNulty spies a nice piece of one over by the jukebox. "My turn, Bunk," McNulty says slyly; Bunk looks very put out. "Come on," McNutly begs him. "Go with number three." Number three, for those of you compiling the McNulty-Moreland Guide to Picking Up Girls, involves the Shill (Bunk) going up to the Mark (the young lady) and acting drunk and obnoxious until the Con Man (McNulty) rides in and convinces the drunken, obnoxious guy to get a cab ride home; in theory, the Mark is supposed to be so grateful for the Con Man's gallantry that she nearly immediately succumbs to his every lascivious desire. If the way this scene plays out is any indication, Number Three looks like a charm. "Knock it out," Bunk winks to McNulty on his way out the door. There's a young lady with a night of passion in her immediate future and a frantic phone call from the Centers for Disease Control coming in the next few days.

The Wire

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