The Wire
All Due Respect

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Mr. Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
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"There's Never Been A Paper Bag"

...to right about now, when McNulty and Bunk emerge from the interrogation room to report that they plan on filing charges against Cheese. Murder one? Criminal conspiracy? Regicide? "Improper disposal of an animal," McNulty says sourly. "Discharging a firearm in city limits." "Animal cruelty, if you want to run wild with it," Bunk adds. This is the point in the soundtrack where you should hear the sad little trumpet sound that plays when someone loses at Plinko on The Price Is Right. McNulty and Bunk exeunt, leaving Daniels and Pearlman to adjust the Who Farted? look on their faces.

In the Western, Herc is urging Carver to unleash whatever arsenal of homophobic taunts he's been storing up ever since Herc confessed to having impure, non-baseball-related thoughts about Gus Triandos. Oh, silly Herc -- Dozerman will be filling that role this evening. "I actually looked up the stats on Gus Triandos," Dozerman says, as he strolls by Carver. "Power hitter, right?" Well, he did have thirty home runs in '58, which was good enough for sixth in the AL and...Oh. That was a cruel laugh at Herc's expense, wasn't it? "Fuck the both of you," Herc says to Carver and Dozerman. Fair enough, Herc; who would you bang to make that happen?

Time for the Major Case unit to regroup after the debacle with Cheese. For most of them, that means drinking. For McNulty, it means making meaningful eye contact with Pearlman in order to suggest perhaps a return performance of the James McNulty Experience. She wisely, wordlessly passes. No, Rhonda has a bigger, balder target in mind. "Funny day," Daniels mutters. "I'm the new departmental pet for shutting down a drug war. But I blew my wire for a dead terrier." Yes, yes, Pearlman would like to hear all about it -- but first she has a question: "Remember how you said you today would be your first 'have your cake and eat it, too' day?" Pearlman asks. Again with the horrible cake metaphor. Although, from the way Pearlman is grabbing Daniels's inner thigh, in this metaphor, apparently she's the cake.

Out on patrol, Dozerman's car glides by the one containing Herc and Carver -- as Dozerman passes by, we see him pantomiming the international symbol for giving Gus Triandos a hummer. (It's much like pantomiming a regular hummer, only this time you end with the O-R-I-O-L-E-S chant.) Herc is not amused; Carver will have to be amused for the both of them. Speaking of Carver, he issues some final orders into his walkie-talkie -- "you see the brake lights pump twice, you know we've got a clean hand-to-hand" -- and off we go to see ruthlessly efficient police work in action.

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The Wire

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