The Wire
Boys Of Summer

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: A | 2 USERS: A+
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"Lambs To The Slaughter Here"

City Hall. Herc gets out of a black SUV out front, all done up in Secret Service drag, and strides inside, bypassing the security gate. Herc and his unnamed partner make their way to the elevators, and are waiting when City Council President Naresse Campbell (Marlyne Afflack) walks by, trailed by her assistant. "Madam President," says Officer Unnamed deferentially. She barely cuts her eyes to him before striding past without a response. "Council President's hot as balls," notes Herc poetically. "I'd fuck you to fuck her, man," says Officer Unnamed. Herc, as usual, can't but take this literally: "Yeah? You'd fuck a guy for a chance to fuck a hot broad? You don't think that makes you a faggot or nothing?" Officer Unnamed is like, "It's just an expression," staring at Herc like he's not entirely certain he won't also have to explain what "an expression" is. Fortunately, this is when the elevator arrives.

Making small talk in the elevator, Herc asks how long Officer Unnamed has been on Royce's detail, and learns it's been eight months. He asks whether Officer Unnamed is ready to take a bullet for the Mayor of Baltimore, and Officer Unnamed gives him a withering look, like he's disgusted at the idea that anyone would even bother to shoot one.

And then Herc and Officer Unnamed are in the mayor's office, getting ready to escort him out. Royce appears, doing up his tie; an assistant approaches to give him a message, but he tells her he'll have time to deal with it "maybe tomorrow." Coleman Parker correctly guesses that Royce is dodging Andy Krawczyk, and Royce bitches that every time Krawczyk makes a donation to Royce's campaign, he calls for something, just to prove that he can. Next stop: kidney. Krawczyk could probably use a fresh one, and Royce looks like his are tight. Parker then tells Royce that Carcetti and Gray want to have two debates -- one on crime, and another on schools and the economy. Royce is very sure he doesn't want to give his opponents a whole night to hammer him on the crime rate (is that...something a Baltimore mayor would be vulnerable on?), and Parker breezes that, for now, the Royce campaign is open to the idea, but in a couple of days, it'll be, "Fuck you. One debate." Royce gets into the elevator with his entourage, muttering, "That lost-ball-in-high-grass motherfucker Carcetti -- he needs to get used to life in the wilderness."

Is life in the wilderness typically full of old people drooling on themselves in the middle of the afternoon? Because if so, Carcetti's already getting used to that, as he gives his stump speech to a room full of bluehairs, few of whom are paying him the slightest attention. He invites questions, and gets one: "Is it salisbury steak for lunch today, or is they doing tacos?" The candidate is unprepared!

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The Wire

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