In a quiet alley, the boys have set up a bird-catching contraption -- bait, a box, a stick, and a piece of string to pull when the bird ends up in the zone. Off to the side, Dukie's alone in the weeds, messing around with a bottle. The bird project has attracted a bunch more kids, standing around armchair quarterbacking the contraption and the value of engaging in the effort in the first place. Michael keeps telling everyone to shut up so that they don't spook the birds, but Randy can't resist telling Namond that a bird they catch could be worth $300 or $400, according to a Nemo who looks after Marlo's coops and got $400 for a white homing pigeon. Namond gets excited that the white bird currently sniffing around the box could be a homing pigeon, and Randy points out that, after all, it is white. Flawless logic! Namond tells him he should put some hamburger meat in the trap, Michael tells him to shut up again, and just as the white bird looks like it's just about to venture under the box, there's a crash from the vicinity of Dukie; the bird takes off, and the guys all focus their attention on Dukie, and their new need to kick his ass for him. Namond leads the charge, blustering that he's going to fuck Dukie up. Dukie protests that he didn't do anything, but Namond's found a handy victim and isn't about to let up, saying that Dukie's a baby, playing with bugs like he's still in Pampers. Dukie shoots back that Namond's the one who needs diapers: "Put 'em over that mouth you got, catch all that shit you be flushing." The guys all put their fists up to their mouths in appreciation of Dukie's awesome dis, which Namond can only counter by saying that Dukie stinks like a rat fart. (Weak.) He shoves Dukie, and Dukie loses it, charging at Namond and wildly flailing his arms around while Namond does nothing to retaliate, just leaning back and holding his forearms up in defense. Michael pulls Dukie off. Donut (Nathan Corbett) observes appreciatively that Dukie clocked Namond in the head, and Namond whines that it was just because he didn't want to touch Dukie: "Could've come up with AIDS or some shit like that." Kenard (Thuliso Dingwall) imitates Dukie's flailing, saying that he fights like a bitch, and everyone cracks up and leaves. Randy is the last of the group, and quietly tells Dukie that he scared the bird away. Dukie replies that he blew up a bug bomb, and offers to show him the pieces, but Randy says he has to go. Before he can leave, though, Dukie calls after to tell him that the bird wasn't a homing pigeon: "Homers got them metal things around their leg. That way, you can tell them from the other birds." Nemo had let Dukie clean out the coops sometimes, and has schooled Dukie in matters avian. Randy grins admiringly, and Dukie gets awkward under his respectful gaze and shambles away.
Edward Tilghman Middle School. Principal Claudell Withers (Richard Hildebird) and Assistant Principal Marcia Donnelly (Tootsie Duvall) are having an end-of-summer meeting in an administration office, running down which teachers will be back for the coming school year. Donnelly is one of the few characters with a really hardcore Baltimore accent: it's half southern drawl (that would be the Virginia influence, I guess), but then the northern component is the kind of pointy schwas I'm used to hearing from people in upstate New York. Anyway, the receptionist comes in and says there's a guy outside without ID, who says he's a new teacher. Donnelly tells her to let him in before he changes his mind, and the receptionist goes back to buzz him in, but the door is busted, like everything up in that bitch probably is. After a moment, the receptionist returns with Prez! She is not interested in attempting his name, telling him to introduce himself. Donnelly recognizes his name, saying he's new in Math, and Prez says he won't have his certificate for a while, but was told he would get classes because of staff shortages. "Lambs to the slaughter," mutters Donnelly sadly. Withers asks Prez what he did before becoming a teacher, and Prez says that he was a cop. Donnelly and Withers exchange an excited look that finally someone is coming to work there who might actually be up to the challenge, little knowing what kind of cop Prez was. Probably there are a couple of kids in the school who might benefit by getting accidentally shot, anyway.