You know, we're only twenty minutes into this episode, and I'm not sure I care to continue. Ah well, stiff upper lip and all that...
Back at Homicide, Bunk walks into the crime lab to find Ron, the man whom detectives shower with both processing requests and abuse. Bunk has only the former this time around -- a request for a DNA comparison signed off on by McNulty. "And it's a part of the serial killer thing," Bunk emphasize. In that case, Ron will get right on it, "if it's connected to that investigation." Is it? Sure, it is! You betcha! Absolutely connected. Fortunately, Bunk's cell phone rings at that precise moment, sparing him from telling any further transparent lies.
Back at the Sun, Gus is mediating a sit-down between Hanning and Templeton. Hanning objects to the newspaper story reporting that he was in a firefight on the day in question; Templeton insists that it's in his notes. "I told you the lead vehicle took a hit from an elevated I.E.D., killed the fifty gunner and blew the hands off the driver," Hanning says fiercely, while Gus watches impassively. "That's it. That's enough. Man, why'd you go and make the rest of that shit up?" How dare you, sir! M. Scott Templeton never makes anything up. "We sat there having coffee," Templeton says. "Coffee?" Hanning snorts. "Having donuts and coffee," Templeton insists. Wrong again, dummy, the recapper reminds us. "Can I finish?" Templeton demands, protesting Hanning's interruptions and not mine. "If you're not going to let me tell my side of the story..." "A lie ain't a side of a story," Hanning fires back. "It's just a lie." In fairness to Templeton, with his copy, a lie is usually the entire story. Gus finally intervenes in this back-and-forth, asking Hanning whether he drinks a lot. "You think I fucking sleep under a bridge sober?" Hanning responds. The man raises an excellent point. "Well, sometimes when I have a few," Gus begins, "and I do like to have a few, I tend to be a little more descriptive in the telling of a tale." Hanning's not having any of the it-must-have-been-the-booze defense: "There are some things that happen," he says, glaring at Scott, "you don't ever fuck with them." Scott sighs that he believes that Hanning believes what he believes -- Christ, now I need a drink -- but that he also believes his story was accurate, and it's my word against yours, crazy and infrequently sober homeless guy, so nyah! Also, thank you for your fine service to this country. "What if a Marine who was there, he reads that shit you made up?" Hanning demands. Well, on the bright side, newspaper readership in plummeting, so the odds of that happening are decreasing by the day.
Gus escorts Templeton out of the conference room per Hanning's request to get him "out of [Hanning's] face." Once they're out of the room, Templeton insists that Hanning must be off his meds. Gus figures that they'll call the Marines, see if they can get hold of anyone in his unit, and find out what happened. "If it went down the way you said, we'll let it be," Gus says. "But if not, we'll chalk it up as misunderstanding. But misunderstanding or no, we will write a correction if what we printed wasn't accurate." Scott makes a "Me, Inaccurate? That's Unpossible!" face, while Gus returns to the conference room to conclude things with Hanning. "And we didn't have coffee," Hanning tells Gus, his head in his hands. What, what, what? Gus's expression says. "We had chocolate milk," Hanning continues. As you would already know if you commit these recaps to memory, and I hope and pray that you do.