The Wire
Final Grades

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: A+ | 4 USERS: A+
"If Animal Trapped Call 410-844-6286"

Homicide. The first thing we see is a whimsical snowman tie on Jay, who apparently never learned not to dress in such a way as to highlight problem areas. He hums "Jingle Bell Rock" as he rolls up to the board, where Winona is writing up red names. To his credit, Jay's mood worsens but a little as he asks whether that all came in overnight. Norris says that all those names are Lester's. Jay colourfully curses Lester -- he's a Vandal! A Hun! A Visigoth! (thank God he isn't; I don't need to eat up precious minutes of my day typing "Vercengetorix" over and over, though I do still hope one of my friends names their kid that) -- and then asks what Norris has. Norris reports that he caught the victim of a hot shot, but before Jay can bitch about it too hard, Norris adds that he has a perp who walked himself into the Western to turn himself in. Jay appreciates that when Norris manufactures a murder, at least he invents one with a suspect; he says he'll be right in to witness said perp's confession.

In an interview room, Bubbs has just finished telling Norris that the hot shot he'd made up contained sodium cyanide. Jay enters as Bubbs sniffles that they need to lock him up and be done with it. Norris asks where he got the cyanide, and when Bubbs starts fidgeting and holding his head, Jay suspiciously asks whether he's getting sick: "When's the last time you had your medicine?" Bubbs rears up with as much dignity as he can muster as he babbles that he's not getting high anymore. Norris tries again to ask Bubbs where he got the cyanide from, but rather than answer, Bubbs lurches up and projectile-vomits all over Jay and Norris. Who both wonder whether fighting crime is really worth...that. I mean, at least when that happens to people who work in a hospital, they have freaking scrubs to change into. AND IT'S STILL GROSS. Both cops leap away and fuss about their ruined ensembles as Bubbs cries that he's sorry. Adding to the already fairly high pathos level is the little piece of corn or something dangling from Bubbs's beard. Come on, people, I'm trying to keep down a Jamba Juice, here!

Outside, Norris says that when Bubbs calms down, Norris will Mirandize him. Jay goes into the bathroom and cleans himself up as much as possible using paper towels, trying not to barf himself. Turning around, he takes a gander at the Sharpied graffiti on the wall, including "RAWLS SUCKS COCK" (both literally and figuratively) and "I MADE COLONEL" (Daniels, how could you?!). Jay chuckles.

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The Wire




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