It's evening at the Sun, and Jeff Price is returning from the City Council meeting where nothing much happened, other than the mayor asking for a redrafting of some homeless bill -- or so you might think. But first, Gus Haynes must correct a howling error in the news article on the fire written by Alma Guttierez. "You say that 120 people were evacuated," Haynes begins. "You can't evacuate people. I mean, you can if you want, but that's not what you want to say here." It is here that crusty old rewrite man Jay Spry lets wet-behind-the-ears Alma in on the cruel laugh the older editors are having at her expense: "A building can be evacuated. To evacuate a person means to give that person an enema. The details, Ms. Guttierez. At the Baltimore Sun, God still resides in the details." Or maybe He doesn't -- I'll leave that to brighter minds than my own to hammer out, since I think the Web has enough semantic pissing matches and grammatical-angels-dancing-on-the-heads-of-pins debates without me adding to the clamor. ["Well, seriously. Though I read an interesting piece at least suggesting a reason it might be relevant other than semantic nitpicking." -- Miss Alli]
Haynes is now flipping through pictures from the fire when he spots something that displeases him. "Fuckety fuck," he exclaims. "Another burnt doll." We soon learn that the photographer dispatched to the fire has a penchant for turning in photos from fire scenes in which burnt dolls somehow mysteriously wind up in the foreground of the shot, as if to underscore the pathos of the calamity. "I can see that cheating mother-fucker now with his harem of dolls, pouring lighter fluid on each one," Haynes seethes to his fellow editors. "You check his fucking trunk, you'll find the whole collection." Another, less-staged photo is ordered up. The point: You have to get up pretty early in the morning to pull a forgery over Gus Haynes, patron saint of the newsroom.