Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to guzzle down some Gatorade.
We open with a tight shot of Bunk -- sweet, wonderful Bunk. The other day, I was watching the execrable Hackers -- a movie so terrible, it cannot even be saved by the sight of a twenty-year-old Angelina Jolie -- and Wendell Pierce appeared as a Secret Service agent, and I almost wept for happiness. Or, perhaps, I almost wept because I realized I was watching Hackers. In either case -- Bunk! He's talking quite sternly to someone seated just off camera. "You see now?" Bunk begins. "I'm here to tell you, this remaining-silent shit ain't nothing like they make it out to be. You up in here, all tight with it, waiting for your paid lawyer, think you all wise, ain't you? No, see, that worked when you some kind of criminal mastermind, when you ain't been seen running from the deed, when your own fucking running partner ain't in the next room putting you in." And Bunk chuckles a contented chuckle, as the young man he's interrogating tries to keep it together. Bunk leans in: "He's telling it like a little bitch," he says. "We even went to Mickey D's for him because he was so motherfucking helpful. Two Quarter Pounders, big fries, McDonaldLand cookies, Dr. Pepper. That's how your boy rolled, right?" But no Shamrock Shake or McRib? Kid gave it up to easy, if you ask me. Bunk pats the kid on the shoulder all friendly-like and opens the door to the interrogation room.
Once outside the room, Bunk signals Detective Norris, who, in turn, signals Crutchfield to escort the other young man, McDonald's sack and all, right past the open door. "All right," Young Man No.2 says through a mouthful of fries. "But I still ain't saying shit to you." He doesn't need to; the sight of his compatriot chowing down on McDonalds -- just as the detective said he was -- is enough to convince the first young man that he's been betrayed by a snitch. "Monell, what the fuck?" Young Man No. 1 screams angrily. Bunk shuts the door before we can figure out if that's the same Monell who paid Randy $5 to be his lookout while he and a buddy enjoyed a ménage-a-trois in a junior-high restroom last season. Let's just assume that it was.