The Wire
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Mr. Sobell: B | 2 USERS: A
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"Just 'Cause They're In The Street Doesn't Mean That They Lack Opinions."

Outside a fairly ordinary house, Chris is playing with a little girl, most likely his daughter. This is not unlike watching Charles Manson cuddle an armload of kittens. Just as Chris goes to leave, a little boy -- perhaps his son -- runs out to wave goodbye. Okay, now it's like watching Manson gingerly set down the kittens on a fluffy pillow so that a puppy can run up and lick his face. I'm a little disoriented here. Anyhow, Chris returns to the SUV where Marlo's waiting and explains that he told his family he'll be gone on business for a few weeks. "It shouldn't be more than that," Marlo says. "Better not," Chris agrees. Again -- I get the impression that he's not the least bit pleased about the sudden Omar-themed complications in his life.

Elsewhere, Dukie is walking Bug home from school and hearing all about how Bug is being taught the questions and answers to an upcoming standardized test so he can recite them by rote when the time comes. Yes, in case you missed the point from Season 4 of The Wire, let's just summarize it one more time -- the inner-city public education system in this country is a big, fat failure. At this point, they're passing by Michael's corner crew, with Kenard shouting unpleasantries at Dukie; when Dukie ignores Kenard, the little pipsqueak throws a soda bottle at his head. "Now, why you gonna go and do that?" Dukie shouts at Kenard, who is not exactly trembling at the thought of this confrontation. "I'm out here getting stuff done," Kenard squeaks. "You up in some house somewhere, playing Mike's little bitch." Dukie cuffs Kenard, and then, when the feisty little shit still comes at home, pushes him to the ground. That's when Spider steps in, and that's when things go south for Dukie in a hurry. Let the beatdown commence.

It's the 4 PM meeting at the Sun, where the editors outline what stories they have at their disposal. The sports editor is pitching a thumb-sucker -- that's newspaper talk for a piece where the writer pontificates at great length whether the readers want him to or not -- on Bud Selig. Perhaps this is just a little bit too much information to reveal, but on my List Of People I Would Beat Mercilessly If The Laws Of God And Man Didn't Stand In My Way, Bud Selig easily cracks the top 10. Easily. (To an attorneys representing Mr. Selig, I would like to point out that by "easily," I mean, "satirically," and by "Beat Mercilessly," I mean "poke gentle fun at.") Anyhow, after we all get to agree on what a lousy commissioner Bud Selig is, Klebanow gives us the front page rundown -- the Clay Davis indictment, congressional hearings on Iraq (Congress taking an active oversight role on Iraq? Truly, this show is a work of fiction.), Carcetti raising money for a gubernatorial bid, and a feature on John Waters, assuming the art is good. Don't use any stills from Pink Flamingos, then. Gus puts in a good word for the serial-killer-on-the-loose story. "There were other homeless people murdered?" Whiting asks; clearly, he can't be counted on to read below-the-fold stories buried in the B section of his own paper. Gus adds the tidbit about the motive being sexual, though he notes that the cops are being cryptic about what exactly that entails. Klebanow expresses mild interest, but thinks it merits something more before it lands on Page 1. Yes, something like "actually happening."

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The Wire

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