From the crucible of Colvin's withering gaze, the two new officers step outside into the gale-force-strength mockery of Herc and Carver. It's hard to say which situation is worse, though it's very easy to figure out which would be more irritating. "Hey, Carv," Herc asks, " where you at?" "I'm at a desk outside the roll call room on the first floor of 1034 North Mount," Carver rattles off. "My feet are facing west, and my dick is pointing south-southwest." Ha ha. But don't feel too bad, fellas -- "Bunny Colvin's been giving that speech as long as you guys been sucking air," Herc says. And it probably just sunk in with Herc about five seconds before the cameras started rolling. Herc and Carver are here to do more than just bust some new guys' respective chops; they're filling out that paperwork on the drug runner they finally busted with the help of the 101st Airborne. That's an exaggeration, of course -- but Colvin does come out to note that Herc and Carver required the services of "half [his] district, K-9, and the copter" to arrest a fourteen-year-old for loitering in a drug-free zone. "What did we learn?" Colvin demands. "That you can't raise up and run from a drug corner in Sector One without my boot finding your ass," Herc answers stupidly. Bunny sighs. Told you he does that a lot.













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