The Wire
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Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: B+ | 1 USERS: A
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"Buyer's Market Out There"
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We begin on a typical day in the Western District, which is to say, things looks just as stark and shitty as ever. The corner kids -- Michael's crew, in this case -- are massed on the corner waiting to sell their wares; the cops -- Colicchio and some unnamed partner who I'm willing to bet is at least eight times smarter than Colicchio -- are watching them. At this point, young Kenard strolls up with a paper sack and stashes it, quite brazenly and clumsily, under a stoop. Like many viewers at home, Michael does a double-take at this sloppiness. "Kenard just fucking with them, man," one of the crew members says to Michael. Unfortunately, Colicchio and his lil' buddy can't hear this bit of dialogue. They just see some kid farting around with what looks to be a sackful of drugs in plain sight and can't help feeling that they are being challenged in some way; it never occurs to either that they are, perhaps, being baited. Colicchio revs up the car, swoops down on the corner, and leaps out, ready to dispense swift, rage-fueled justice.

A dissolve shot later, and Colicchio has each member of Michael's crew sitting on the curb with his hands behind his back, while a waiting police van blocks traffic. Michael protests that he was just sitting there, reading a magazine. Colicchio scoffs at this obvious lie: "Watching your crew work a ground stash, you mean?" he says triumphantly, reaching into the paper sack left by Kenard. Uh, no -- not unless Marlo's gang has given up the lucrative drug trade in order to traffic in the equally valuable though less glamorous sale of poo. Yes, Colicchio pulls back his hand from the back to reveal a whole fistful of the brown stuff, rendered in glorious Technicolor on my high-def TV. Some of us are just sitting down to dinner when we watch this show, you know. Would you care to guess how Colicchio reacts to this sleight and the gales of laughter from Michael's crew? Unless your answer was "like a total asshole," please stop reading this recap right now and resume your rigorous studies of The Wire canon so that you do not embarrass yourself in the future. Colicchio rubs his shit-covered hands on Kenard's shirt and vows to arrest every single member of Michael's crew anyhow for...well, assault with a deadly doo-doo isn't actually a crime, now is it? Well, truancy, then. One of the older crew members protests that he's a little old to be a truant and butchers the pronunciation of Colicchio's name as part of the bargain -- Colicchio corrects him by banging his head into the police van. A simple "Colicchio like the guy on Top Chef" would have been more than sufficient,dude.

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The Wire

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