X-Files

The Truth, Part II

The Truth, Part II - In the second hour: with the help of Skinner, Doggett, and Kersh, Mulder escapes from prison and takes Scully along with him in search of this whole "truth" thing that he keeps talking about. Yeah, apparently the aliens are going to be here in about ten years. Then shit blows up, and Mulder and Scully go on the lam and, in the end, just spoon together and fall asleep like little baby cats.

The Truth, Part I

The Truth, Part I - The first half of the X-Files series finale focuses on Mulder's return: his smoochy reunion with Scully, and how he's been accused of killing Noel Roaaaarraaaaaaar and sent to a trial in front of a military tribunal. All that, plus confirmation that William is Mulder's son. Well, as far as Mulder's concerned. Oh, let's not even go there.

Sunshine Days

Sunshine Days - Okay, so there's one more episode left of this show, ever. ONE. Uno.Une. And nine years of mytharc to start to wrap up. And so the penultimate episode of The X-Files, naturally, is devoted to The Brady Bunch. There's some crap about how this guy -- who's obsessed with the Bradys or some shit -- is living proof of the paranormal, and now apparently everyone believes, or something, and we're supposed to learn that, like, people are important, but really? This was a Monster of the Week episode. Did Jessica mention that there's only one episode left? Ever? EVER? Yeah.

Release

Release - Led by the "feelings" of a young, weird cadet at the FBI Academy, Doggett finally breaks the case of his son's murder. Poor Dead Luke hasn't turned into starlight, nor did aliens abduct him; he was just killed by a mobster, a victim of a pedophile, a little kid at the wrong place at the wrong time. We also meet Doggett's ex-wife Barbara (played by Robert Patrick's real-life wife, Barbara Patrick) and learn that Dread Pirate Brad's been taking dirty money from mobsters for years. At the end, it seems, Doggett gets real closure, and DPB exacts some revenge.

William

William - Scully gives William up to farmers; Jeffrey Spender comes back to town all deep-fried like a basket of shrimp and tells her that Mulder's his brother. He also injects the baby with some stuff that makes him normal. Yeah, it was all pretty easy. Plus: stuff about Mulder. Lots of stuff. No, really.

Jump The Shark

Jump The Shark - Uh. Okay, 1013 does the impossible and makes an episode in which the Lone Gunmen die -- really, actually die -- basically boring and uninvolving. For those of us who didn't watch Chris Carter's ill-fated The X-Files spin-off The Lone Gunmen, this episode featured a lot of people we've never seen before and, therefore, really don't care about. Langly, Byers, and Frohike meet their maker saving the world, but there's no sense of urgency in this case, so their deaths don't have nearly the resonance they should have.

Scary Monsters

Scary Monsters - So, there's this kid and his imagination makes, like, bugs infest people, or something? Except not, because it's all in his mind? Or something. And Doggett saves the day by making the kid think he's going to burn him alive. But not. Because it's all in the kid's imagination. I guess. And then at the end, his Super-Potent Imagination is destroyed by extensive exposure to television. Because TV rots your brains. Apparently. Also included: the reappearance of Leyla Harrison, the introduction of her rather amusing pseudo-boyfriend, and a cat autopsy on a kitchen table.

Improbable

Improbable - Burt Reynolds guest-stars as God. Or the Devil. Or Fate. Something. Yes. Burt Reynolds. Includes: lip-synching to Italian songs, a late-night checkers game, and Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors as a doomed numerologist.

Underneath

Underneath - So, there's this guy who looks like Meat Loaf and he was wrongly imprisoned for killing a bunch of people. Or was he? Our heroes investigate yet another case that turns out to be about God. Sort of. Includes an appearance by the woman who played Carly Pope's mom on Popular, plenty of snarky Doggett, and a long conversation about Milli Vanilli.

Audrey Pauley

Audrey Pauley - Robert Patrick acts his little heart out in this otherwise mediocre episode in which Moronica dies -- well, sort of -- and ends up caught in a sort of Purgatory, all thanks to the machinations of an evil doctor with no apparent motivation whatsoever. Also, Doggett loves Moronica. Whatever.

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