X-Files

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | 674 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
4-D

Over at the Lukesh apartment, Scully wears her little FBI windbreaker and watches Skinner talk on the phone. Skinner tells Moronica that they don't know where Lukesh is...and he won't be easy to find. Scully wonders if she remembered to ask Mulder to pick up the dry cleaning, because she doesn't have a clean suit for tomorrow.

Moronica's. She enters her apartment, looking apprehensive, then jumps when something in the bathroom falls onto the ground. She gets her gun and goes to investigate: it's just a bottle of Kiehl's something-or-other, and a box of Q-Tips. She picks them up, shakily. "You all right, Agent Reyes?" Scully asks into Moronica's earpiece. See, Scully and Skinner and DPB are in the van outside, surveilling. It's a trap! How clever. Moronica says that she is, and asks if there's been any action outside. "You moved to a quiet neighborhood," Skinner tells her. "It's dead out here." Moronica takes another walk through her apartment; they watch her on the monitor. Natch, as soon as she turns a corner, Lukesh grabs her from behind and rips the earpiece out of her head. "You want to scream right now," he hisses, intimately, into her ear. Moronica says nothing. "You know what? Try and scream out to them. They can't hear you." Not only can they not hear her, none of them can see her, either. Has he pulled her into his other dimension? Or are they just out of camera range? Whatever. Inside the van, Scully eyes the monitor. "Where'd she go?" she wonders. All three of them start calling for Moronica, and get no answer. "He's in there -- he's got to be," Scully deduces. DPB mildly comments that that's not possible. "And what if it is? Want to stick around to find out?" Scully asks. They all look at one another.

"You ruined everything, you bitch," Lukesh hisses into Moronica's ear, in the meanest meta-statement the writers have ever penned. "You made me! You made me do it," he says, holding his straight razor right against her windpipe, but not yet drawing blood. "You know what?" he whispers, low, like a lover. "This time, I get to bleed you slow." Ew. Just as he's beginning to slice her throat, the front door bursts open and DPB shoots him right through the head. Wow, I have a whole new respect for him, now. I'm a sucker for a good shot. Also, that was somehow quite suave and manly. Maybe it was the suit. Anyway, Lukesh falls dead to the ground, as DPB runs over and grasps Moronica. "You all right?" he asks, holding her head in his palms. "[Moronica]? You all right? It's okay. It's okay. It's over." And suddenly, I'm a Moronica/DPB 'shipper. Nah, not really. Maybe DPB can hook up with Scully and they can run all over North America as the headliners in a Sharp-Shooting Extravaganza while Mulder watches the baby and makes snide comments about DPB's accent. Skinner and Doggett can hold down the fort in Washington, don't you think? I'd totally watch that show.

X-Files

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