Chung chung over to Washington Memorial Hospital, Where Special Agents Die And Are Brought Back To Life All The Time! Moronica stands in the elevator, looking utterly perplexed. Welcome to the X-Files, honey. People will be dying and getting resurrected all over the place, so get used to it. At least you didn't bury him alive this time. The elevator doors slide open with a ding and reveal DPB waiting for Moronica in the hallway. "Skinner called you, too?" Moronica asks. DPB makes a sad face and tells her that Skinner is staying at the crime scene. "I'm sorry," he tells her. Um. Okay. What? Because if Doggett was shot, wasn't DPB there when it happened? Because we saw...But then I guess Moronica's throat would still be...was it just in the alley? But what about...yeah, I have no idea what's going on. Anyway, DPB tells Moronica that he's been put in charge of "the investigation," and he needs to know why Doggett was in that alley in the first place. "He wasn't. He was with me," Moronica tells him. DPB looks like he's wondering if Moronica hit her head in the shower that morning. Moronica repeats that Doggett was with her when Skinner called to tell her he'd been shot. "I don't follow," DPB says. No one does, Brad: just go with it! Scully comes wandering down the hallway, looking solemn as usual. She's so sorry, she tells Moronica. Doggett is just coming out of surgery, she says, and they're moving him into the ICU. "If he pulls through this, it's likely that he'll be paralyzed for life," she says quietly. Moronica sort of shakes her head. "I haven't understood one single word since I've got here," she tells Scully. That single line encapsulates my tenure as recapper of The X-Files like nothing I've heard. Scully looks sympathetic. She knows from dead, undead, and not dead partners. "Whoever [sic] you're talking about, it's not John Doggett," Moronica insists.
But it is. Doggett's all hooked up to shit in the ICU: ventilators, IVs, heart monitors. You know, beepy, hospital-y stuff. Annabeth Gish tries to recreate the Patented Gillian Anderson Open-Mouthed Gaze of Despair/Surprise/Awe, and falls somewhat short of the mark. Moronica takes Doggett's lifeless hand and one single tear runs down her cheek. Scully stares at the two of them with a slightly raised brow, like, "Girl, please. This is my schtick."
Over at the FBI lab, Skinner is going over the ballistics on the bullet that almost killed his sweet, sausage-eating lover when DPB comes storming in. Why isn't Skinner at the hospital, biting his fist and sobbing hysterically into the bed sheets? That's what I'd like to know! Where's the drama, when the nurses try to prevent Skinner from entering the ICU, and Skinner yells, "I am his family, dammit!"? What about the scene where Doggett regains consciousness only long enough to squeeze Skinner's hand, and grit out the words, "Never forget that I loved you," before dying? Where is all that? I feel cheated. Thank God I have an active imagination. So, Skinner tells DPB that they found the bullet lodged in the wall of the alley, and that although the ballistics match FBI-issued pistols, it didn't come from Doggett's gun. DPB takes this all in. "Assistant Directeeeer," he says, pulling Skinner over to talk to him. How long did Skinner have the bullet before he gave DPB the heads-up? DPB asks. Skinner rolls his eyes and admits that he had it "for a couple of hours, maybe." DPB cocks a brow and advises Skinner to "keep the lines of communication open." Skinner gives him a very, very dirty look. How did DPB get to be Skinner's superior? I thought they were on the same level. Maybe he's in charge because the Powers That Be know that Skinner's lurve for Doggett will cloud his impartiality. DPB instructs Skinner to run the slug through the database of FBI-issued weapons. "You're not saying another agent could have done this," Skinner says incredulously, conveniently forgetting all those times Scully and Mulder shot each other. "Just run it," DPB gruffs.